Thursday, August 03, 2006

How Low Will You Go?

My most devoted reader, Anonymous, asks in comments in the previous thread about the worst 10 jobs Howard has held. Here goes...

Howard's Top 10 List of His Crappy Jobs:

1. Orderly in nursing home. Literal crappiness. Although Lovey was a neat old dude.
2. Bellboy at Holiday Inn. Got to clean up blood spills. Plus side: Also cleaned the bar! (To be honest, Howard got the job after the previous bellboy got fired for stealing booze.)
3. Dishwasher at three different restaurants. Minimum wage slave. But free spiced apple rings!
4. Data entry dweeb for my father for which I was paid with a 10-speed Schwinn. Sweet bike. Howard typed up computer punch cards containing weather data until his eyes refused to uncross.
5. Waiter at fancy-pants restaurant. $60 tips a night... tax-free. But still.
6. Cabinetmaker. Hard work. Loud. Sawdust and supervisors everywhere.
7. Pizza delivery. College girls occasionally gave nice tips though.
8. Newspaper delivery -- both of the "boy on a bike" and of the "adult in a car" varieties. Hard to make money either way.
9. Construction laborer in the American Southwest. Hot and sweaty.
10. Sportswriter for two daily newspapers. Covered loser football coaches, who blamed me for their losses. After all, I asked such lame-ass questions.

What are some crappy jobs you have worked?


Blogger Saurabh Barve said...

"7. Pizza delivery. College girls occasionally gave nice tips though."

Tips on what?

10:26 AM, August 03, 2006  
Blogger HRlaughed said...

College boys are a stingy lot. College girls? Not so much.

So, Mr. Barve, what kind of crappy jobs have you held? And don't say Quicky Mart selling Squishies. I know you too well.

11:25 AM, August 03, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how about stripping palates of bottles at a beer factory? the temperature was 90+, noise was an estimated 100 dB all the time, supervisors were plentiful, and said supervisors would yell at yours truly if a palate came to him in shambles. like it's anonymous' fault when the bottles show up to him broken! a lot less laverne and shirley, and a lot more satan's anus. plus side was the $11/hr.

hey howie, remember your posting on the complicated machines that perform simple tasks? this is along those lines, but not really. nevertheless, check it out.

why do the japanese get so fired up about this sort of thing? is it some shintoist/buddhist meditative thing where you sweat and toil over a simple task to find some kind of enlightenment?

it's certainly not for the chicks. chicks don't dig dominoes. chicks dig the longball.

3:22 PM, August 03, 2006  
Blogger HRlaughed said...

So, Anonymous, just how long did you last at this dream job at a brewery, eh?

And chicks dig the long ball? Howard wouldn't know. He only hit one in his lifetime and no women were there to feel the irresistable urge to... well, you know. Hey, wait a minute! You, anonymous, were there, weren't you? I'd like to say thanks once again for that nice fat pitch. Anonymous can pitch to Howard any old time. Slow, straight, and belly button-high, just like Howard likes...

3:29 PM, August 03, 2006  

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