Cool Hand Luke Forever

Bad Ways To Start A Political Broadcast

The Dark Side, part II

The one and only time I voted for a Republican for ANYTHING, he got impeached for being a racist motherfucker.

The signs were there, but I didn't take them seriously. I liked his cynical populism aimed against government bureaucracy. Right after the election, I told a Republican friend of mine that I voted for the guy. She was extremely upset with me, saying, "how could you vote for a racist motherfucker?" She had voted for the Democrat rather than vote for the racist motherfucker -- perhaps the only time in her life she voted for a Democrat.

I felt ashamed that I hadn't paid more attention to the subtext and motivations behind the racist motherfucker's rhetoric.

A year later, the racist motherfucker opened his mouth one time too many and let his hatred spew forth. He was impeached shortly after. That was in the late 1980s.

I've voted solidly Democrat ever since.

Can't take a chance with the racist motherfuckers. Especially now that they're trying to blame the collapsing economy on blacks and latinos -- "those people" took out mortgages that they clearly didn't qualify for and obviously couldn't pay for because the Democrats forced the bankers to be "open-minded". It's totally because of the African-Americans and the Mexicans and the Democrats that our economy is in tatters, they say in total earnestness. [i.e. FoxNews' Neil Cavuto said it.]

Never mind that the non-discrimination laws regarding lending were passed in the 1970s. Scapegoats are needed NOW, and all those black and brown people are such convenient targets. Besides, they don't vote for us, the racist motherfuckers rationalize.

[ If you want to understand what really happened to Our Economy, read this explanation by a Google guy... ]

Resist electing racist motherfuckers at ALL cost. Change the channel on all racist motherfuckers spewing their subtle hatred on the teevee and radio. Don't tolerate your neighbor, friend, or relative trying to sell this noxious "talking point."

The one thing any college student quickly learns -- or SHOULD learn if he or she pays attention -- is that EVERYTHING is more complicated than we first believe. Most politicians, especially right-wing politicians, try and simplify as much as possible. Many in the media do too. But resist falling into simple-minded ways of thinking about the world. Especially if it leads to stereotyping, scapegoating, and group-hatred.

Everyone is on edge during this important election, sensitivities are set to maximum, and too many are playing for keeps... which is when all sense and decency goes missing.

There are good thinkers on both sides of the aisle. Be one of them. Keep thinking.

Fear Leads to the Dark Side

Here it is, folks, something I've been saying and thinking for a loooong time: Fear leads to right-wing political beliefs.

According to research published in the journal Science, "people who are sensitive to fear or threat are likely to support a right-wing agenda."

Seriously, go read it here.

Then you might re-think all your preconceptions about liberals being weak-kneed bed-wetters and conservatives being tough macho-men.

It's Come to This

The Fed and Treasury Department want $700 billion* to do with as they, in their wisdom as Bush appointees, decide. And they don't want any legislative or judicial oversight. None. No courts, please.

If the Democrats, who control Congress and the Federal purse-strings by virtue of a 233-202 majority, waver from these demands and hesitate for even a moment, all hell with come crashing down on the financial world, dooming all of us to poverty, miserable retirements, and endless reruns of Family Matters. Oh yeah, and the Democrats will be blamed for all of it. You bet they will!

Democrats: Don't insist on independent oversight or transparency on the Executive branch's giving away $700 billion however it wishes. Don't try and divert some of that money towards assisting beleaguered taxpayers on the brink of bankruptcy, since they obviously lied, cheated, and thieved their way into a 30-year mortgage that brought their world crashing down around them once pa got canned from his job. And don't, repeat, DON'T try to play chicken with the party that wrecked America, the Republicans. They're better at this than you. Note the dog above.

Do I really think the Congressional Democrats will band together, show some spine, and stand up to the demands of Wall Street via the minority Republicans? Nope. Not for a second. The sense of panic has been whipped up into a frothy inevitability. And yet...

My advice to my readers: Have some cash on hand this week and next in case the bank system decides to temporarily freeze up for a couple of days... or weeks. Inconceivable, I know, but what'll it hurt to have a bit of spending money in your pocket?

*How much money is $700 billion? It's $2,333 from every man, woman, and child in the United States of America. That's what we would be giving Wall Street to take their "moral hazard"** off their hands.

**Moral Hazard = Bad investments motivated by greed and the belief that the American taxpayer would bail them out if things turned sour... because they are just too important to the overall economy to let fail.

Update: Sunday evening and the Democrats have fired back: Oversight provisions; Wall Street executive compensation limitations; address the crisis on Main Street; and: "We will not simply hand over a $700 billion blank check to Wall Street," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) said in a statement.

Back to you, Republicans...

Evil Bastards!

"So-called 'global warming' is just a secret ploy by wacko tree-huggers to make America energy independent, clean our air and water, improve the fuel efficiency of our vehicles, kick-start 21st-century industries, and make our cities safer and more livable. Don't let them get away with it!" - Chip Giller, founder of Grist.org

Bike-Friendly Rankings of States

How bike-friendly is your state?

According to The League of American Bicyclists, here is their first of many annual rankings:

2008 State Rankings

1 Washington
2 Wisconsin
3 Arizona
4 Oregon
5 Minnesota
6 Maine
7 California
8 Illinois
9 New Jersey
10 New Hampshire
11 Utah
12 Michigan
13 North Carolina
14 Hawaii
15 South Carolina
16 Massachusetts
17 Vermont
18 Wyoming
19 Nevada
20 Florida
21 Iowa
22 Colorado
23 Virginia
24 Indiana
25 Kansas
26 Louisiana
27 Rhode Island
28 Missouri
29 Kentucky
30 Texas
31 Delaware
32 Ohio
33 Nebraska
34 New York
35 Maryland
36 Tennessee
37 Idaho
38 Pennsylvania
39 Arkansas
40 Alaska
41 South Dakota
42 Connecticut
43 Oklahoma
44 Montana
45 New Mexico
46 North Dakota
47 Mississippi
48 Alabama
49 Georgia
50 West Virginia

Whaaa?!! Wyoming is ranked #18 while Colorado is #22? Something is truly screwed up with the scoring criteria! The Wyoming road shoulders are typically abominations, the redneck factor is intolerable, and the number of cyclists in Wyoming is practically nil compared to Colorado.

The ranking criteria?

"The states were scored on responses to a questionnaire evaluating their commitment to bicycling and covering 6 key areas: legislation; policies and programs; infrastructure; education and encouragement; evaluation and planning; and enforcement."

Does this mean they left it up to LAB members or state bicycle advocates to score their own states? Wow. Talk about a massive screw up that Wyoming ranks anywhere CLOSE to Colorado, let alone above it!

And Nevada is #19? OMG!

RNC in One Minute

Distilled to its essence in one minute flat...

Tour de Fat, v.2008

Time again for the annual Tour de Fat craziness. Yesterday, eight of us got there a bit early so we could be closer to the front of the pack. Good idea! Turned out "the pack" was over 7,000 strong!

The route changed from past years, taking us through turn-of-the-century neighborhoods and City Park. By the time we got back to New Belgium Brewery's mothership, cyclists were still beginning the parade. The route was 6 1/2 miles long and filled with cyclists the whole way! That's because there were way more than last year's record-busting 4,500 riders!

This was BalticTiger's and my third Tour de Fat. Two years ago, the parade stopped at CSU's oval, someone turned up the disco, and everyone danced as though their lives depended on it.

Last year, we were joined by our friends Deadhead, BikePrincess, SuperNana, and Popeye, and while there wasn't much dancing in the oval, we made up for it with BEER!

This year, we added SuperNana's and Popeye's granddaughters, Crickett and Peanut, to the mix. Which meant no beer, but we stopped afterward for lunch at Rasta Pasta, our favoritest place in Old Town.

That's me and Popeye up top, wearing our trusty dusty tie-dye. Yeah, we copped out with the obvious cliche because it was so easy! Crickett is on the right in her PJs.

Peanut and BalticTiger are sitting in the next photo, waiting for the parade to begin.

And to the right, SuperNana and Peanut are posing in their jammies. Again, because they were so easy to wear. All they had to do that morning was wake up. Yes, they look that great right out of bed.

We had great plans for dressing up this year, but since Deadhead and I are riding the HooDoo 500 next week as a two-man team -- it's a 519-mile bike race in SW Utah -- and since BalticTiger, SuperNana, and BikePrincess are our support crew, our focus and attentions have been elsewhere.

As an example, after riding the Tour de Fat in the morning, we five went on a 160-mile training ride north of Fort Collins, then up to Red Feather Lakes and back down, and then north to Wyoming and back down. We left at 1:30 and got back last night at 9:30.

What a day!

John BushCain Gets BarackRoll'd

Wow, this just came out and is definitely going viral:

Hip Hip Hypocrisy!

How come these video clips are so easy to find? Could it be because The Daily Show just KNOWS that when certain Republicans take the high road, a recent example of the opposite, boldly stated, is a virtual certainty?

All Heat, No Light

I was out with friends tonight when Sarah Palin was giving her VP nomination acceptance speech at the RNC. Still, I just watched it on the internets...

and other than the lies and misrepresentations she continues to tell about her own "achievements" as a mayor and a governor*, it's one nasty, mean-spirited insult, disingenuous slam, and misconceived gotcha after another. Of course, this woman is simply reading what's been written for her. But she could have stopped the mean-spirited shit if she really wanted to.

Just bitter, vile, and full of anger and resentments far too many Republicans are. And why? They've been IN POWER for eight years now, and ran the country into the ground, and still they feel like... VICTIMS?!

So they believe they have the right to dishonorably lash out at some strawman version of a librul?

Can't you give me a reason to vote FOR you, rather than a pack of lies and whining about why I should vote AGAINST your opponent?

In the immortal words of Molly Ivins -- and yes, I'm stooping to their level -- I preferred Palin's speech in the original German. I am once again truly disgusted with right-wing politics... whose days are hopefully numbered. Thank you, Sarah Palin, for energizing the base.

The Democratic Base.


*i.e. the "Bridge to Nowhere", which she supported as a mayor, was de-funded by the U.S. Congress 13 months before she became Alaska's Governor. Ten months after she became Governor, she killed the now-state-funded project. She never lectured Congress on anything, as she now heroically claims.

My God, What Have I Done?

I think we're all asking that question, Maverick John...