Why Howard Laughed

Here's A Photo of A House I Designed

2010-06-08T23:32:00.003-06:00

You Done Good, Lost

2010-05-24T12:33:00.006-06:00

The Internets are awash with angst as those who watched Lost but didn't understand, and those whose pet theories were disproved, are all venting madly. And then there are those who didn't watch but maybe a few episodes. Yet all are passing harsh judgment nevertheless.

I watched and enjoyed every episode like few teevee shows ever, and was continually impressed by the intelligence, complexity, and breadth of the mythology, character arcs, and narrative webs the writers wove over six years' time. Nope, they didn't answer but half the ten thousand questions they asked. But then how many network teevee shows ever even ask ONE good question?

In the final 15 minutes of the broadcast, after wrapping up one storyline, Lost resorted to a troubling hunk of spirituality in resolving the mystery of the sideways universe. But the deus ex machina reveal that offended so many was intended from the start of Season Six, so it wasn't really "deus ex machina" cheating. And really, I liked it because I confess that I contain a troubling hunk of spirituality within my own neural pathways.

Bravo!

A Tale of Two Houses

2010-04-01T16:49:00.017-06:00

$8,000 sounds like a lot of money. And it is. But let me show you one small example of what that money represents in terms that all of us can appreciate.

I had two architecture clients. Both client sets were a husband and wife team who chose me to design their new custom homes for them. Both had budgeted about $650K for the construction costs of their dream homes. And both couples had champagne tastes that had to be constantly moderated. Because although $650K sounds like a lot of money, and it is, in the custom home construction world, it doesn't go as far as one might hope.

The first couple knew exactly what they liked and what they wanted. Both husband and wife were quite opinionated, which actually made designing for them both fun and gratifying. And though my architectural fees are at the low end of the spectrum among architects in terms of percentage of construction cost, which mattered to them, they also talked to a number of architects beforehand, and determined that my design style was most appropriate to their own preferences. Selecting me as their architect was a double-win for them!

After we signed the contract, my fees were never an issue and they paid quite promptly.

The second couple only had a general sense of what they liked, and had a very difficult time both communicating their aesthetic preferences to me and evaluating anything I designed for them. I showed them lots of examples of my work and aesthetic preferences, but they seemed to prefer something else. They just couldn't tell me or show me what it was. Honestly, I'm not sure why they selected me as their architect, as they weren't communicative about any of their priorities when making decisions... though I was and am grateful that they did.

The husband of this second couple was also, like the first, quite confident... except that he was also outspoken that he could do my job if only his wife would let him. Yeah, right. That attitude will endear you to any professional you hire.

Nevertheless, as we proceeded with design, it became clearer and clearer that the second couple's champagne tastes were no match for their desires for an imported beer budget. Such that after I turned the drawings in for permitting and for bidding, they informed me that, in order to save $8,000 in architectural fees, they would cut me loose and do all the construction observation and management themselves.

This meant that Mr. Know-It-All would be up against the contractor himself, rather than relying on his architect to ensure that his dream home was built to design specifications. This also meant that although I would have literally worked four to five hundred hours for him during construction for that measly eight grand, he would have to do it all and decide it all himself.

What do you suppose happened with the two houses?

The photos above are perfect illustrations. Look at the two photos and compare them. Would it help if I told you that the two stairways were designed and detailed to be practically identical in terms of treads, risers, newel posts, rails, stringers, and balusters?

Look closely, I'll wait...

The floors in the top photo haven't been installed yet, but everything with the stairway is complete. That stairway is for the first couple, and except for the 8" square post at the bottom which varies in design with the second house, it has all the features EXACTLY as I designed them for both houses and EXACTLY as both clients wanted them.

But the second stairway does not actually HAVE them, you may have noticed.

The top stairway has a darker accent stain on the treads, as well as a few accents on the newel posts at the landing above. There are a forest of balusters, three per tread, and they are stained natural wood.

The second stairway has skinny, untrimmed, undetailed newel posts, thin railings, only two painted balusters per stair tread, and no stringer, which is the diagonal trim board running alongside the wall under the stairs.

See those differences? Again, I drew them both with the exact same details and specifications. And yet, all those changes were made by the second home's contractor to save himself some money, while the poor hapless homeowner probably doesn't even know what was compromised when he decided not to keep his architect on during construction to ensure that the contractor didn't cheat. No, I'm not going to tell him either. It's too late.

I only saw the photos of the second house very recently, after construction was complete. Except for this photo on the right, which turned out quite nice but is the only exterior the client has sent me so far, I am sick to my heart. Because I'm sure the whole house is filled with similar compromises.

I chose to be an architect because I want to design beautiful things that get built the way I design them for deserving and discriminating clients. That's why they wanted an architect-designed custom home, after all.

The Party of No Is Alive and Naying

2010-02-16T01:07:00.004-07:00

For God's sake, majority party Democrats*, grow a pair...

*and that includes President Obama.

A Tale of Two Presidents

2009-12-30T14:41:00.006-07:00

On December 22, 2001, a man with plastic explosives stuffed in his shoes got on a passenger airliner flying from Paris to Miami and attempted to ignite the bomb and kill all the passengers. He was stopped by the alert crew and passengers. The Republican President was on vacation at the time, and didn't address the issue until six days later, when he mentioned it late into a press conference. The press did not bring it up in any of their questions. No Democratic congressmen or American press were critical of the President's six-day delay, although one foreign newspaper questioned the delay, a French newspaper... where the flight originated. TSA rules regarding shoes were implemented.

On December 25, 2009, a man with an explosive mixture strapped to his balls got on a passenger airliner flying from Amsterdam to Detroit and attempted to ignite the bomb and kill all the passengers. He was stopped by the alert crew and passengers. The President was on vacation at the time, and didn't address the issue until three days later, when he held a press conference specifically about the bombing attempt. Numerous Republican congressmen and American press were critical of the President's delay, blaming his administration's incompetence and seeming disregard for the safety of American lives. Vice President Cheney was quoted as saying, "As I've watched the events of the last few days it is clear once again that President Obama is trying to pretend we are not at war. He seems to think if he has a low key response to an attempt to blow up an airliner and kill hundreds of people, we won't be at war." TSA rules regarding full body screening are now being considered.

That is all.

Desiderata For the 21st Century

2009-12-28T23:43:00.022-07:00

Here is a MUST READ: The strangest, most compelling, daunting yet inspiring, true story I've heard in years, if not decades...

American Stonehenge:
Monumental Instructions for the Post-Apocalypse

And here's a bit more from a Google Search for "Georgia Guidestones." The place appears to be quite the litmus test... and a flashpoint for a lot of deependers.

Post Script: I received a very interesting email from a friend after she read the article above, and even though it's quite long, everything she writes is quite well thought-out. So I'm gonna post it here for everyone to see...

Last night (early this am) I was finishing learning how to use my new camera and finally transferred photos to the computer. Then I find your [blog post] but it's 1:30am and I said to myself: I need to get to sleep and I am not going to do this now. Because I had some rather instantaneous and curious reactions. I believe I even felt my brain cells popping and crackling. I was reading/skimming along thinking "wait for it" "wait for it" and YES! It showed up. dammit. That fucking shit about December 2012.

The very best college course I have ever taken was the multi-cultural awareness one I was forced to take to finish my little degree. I don't recall all the options but I jumped on the one concerning "the Americas". I love the universality of humans. There are supergigantic, super ancient structures everywhere. It is unfathomable that humans created them. There are "perfectly accurate" (re astronomy matters) structures all over the world. I am insulted on behalf of all past cultures that what little information I have read so far about this puny collection of pebbles in Georgia does not reference ancient parallels and hardly references anything except the 14th century whosits: rosicrucianism. Whom I have also never heard of before 1:30am. The only BCE (before common era) structure referenced: StoneHenge.

What about all the other apocalypses that have already happened? The Aztecs literally wiped out in less than 80 years. So many civilizations around the world reached their zenith and then "disappeared". They disappeared because their successors (often conquerors) did all they could to destroy all evil evidence of the past. There are ancient civilizations that existed way back into the mists of time and they also left massive rock structures. The Aztecs found an ancient city that was almost perfectly preserved because it was in a remote, dry location. The Aztecs had no clue who in hell these people were...other than "obviously" they had to have been gods. That conclusion was made by the then-most highly advanced civilization (in the Americas) which was happening concurrently with the then-most-highly advanced civilization (in Europe). No wonder white people have long thought they are God's gift to the universe. They certainly weren't evolved highly enough to appreciate the wonders that "savages" had achieved. Which were pretty damn equal to the Europeans. Both had "god worship" with extremely similar power concepts; every possible contrivance re irrigation; architecture; etc. But in the Americas they did it without machinery, animal power, wheels. And were far more in tune with nature and their relationship to the planet. But then there always have been white people who extoll the value of "nature". They were and still are considered pretty much crackpots. Look at all the flack anyone espousing global warming gets. I probably am among those throwing stones at them simply by not taking enough [omg....buzzword coming up] proactive steps in my own little domain.

I am all for mysticism and the wonders of the universe and the wonders here on earth and the possibility that we are all just a speck in that proverbial dewdrop on a fence in some unfathomable other existence. But the yahoos who paid for the Georgia Stones? Please. They are not even massive or particularly large. [I have] bigger stones. haha. Based on the climate/habitat they are located in....I guarantee you their message will not survive any apocalypse of Real Dimensions. Because kudzu will overrun the entire location in about 2 hours once any "caretakers" stop weeding the place.

I absolutely believe in the Infallibility of Math. The incredible proofs of how ancient/medieval/modern people dissect the patterns of the stars and life here on earth are truly "awesome." It scares/pleases me to realize that every generation thinks it is just the damn smartest thing that ever existed. There have always been and currently are plenty of geniuses. There have always been and currently are plenty of whackjobs.

I do not despise religion/belief systems because I find it reassuring that humans around the world are eerily similar. And that they have been all along. Not just since the internet showed up. I know. That must be shocking news to you. Isolated as you are out there on the Front Range and all. haha. That common thread through what little bit of eternity that I know about is a "proof" to me that there is a deeper purpose and destiny for humans. I really balk at the concept that Others are in charge. My "proof" there is that so many quack fringe people and their cults, when outed, invariably are a small group totally incapable of really pulling off anything in the big scheme of events. I also totally buy into, at the very least, Money Talks. The rest of us walk. Probably carrying The Money on our pathetic poverty-encrusted backs. (I glommed onto your "poverty encrusted [life]" comment of long ago because that is a damn funny/fucking truth.) Those are indeed the Others.

Finally, I came to terms some time ago (possibly about 6-1/2 years ago? haha.) with My Truth: I do not have all the answers. I never will. This does not bother me. Because I truly believe that I will "know it when I see it." Because Chosen Ones always have been able to know it when they see it. So bring it on, 2012. But it had better give its best shot the first time because it will not get a second chance at me.

My friend is quite a character, wouldn't you say?

The Journey of a Thousand Miles...

2009-12-26T15:55:00.008-07:00

I dare you to look closely at this chart from a blog at National Geographic Magazine and NOT get just the teensiest bit angry...

Hahaha! Okay, You're not supposed to get angry at me as I'm not making a joke about how tiny it is. Of course, you'll need to click on it so you can actually SEE it...

Here's what it shows: Citizens of United States and Mexico are the only people of the countries shown here without universal health care. And yet Americans pay so much more for fewer than 4 doctor visits per year on average that we're completely OFF the chart. And for what?

Bad outcomes.

The current health care reform that just passed the U.S. Senate is one step. But it'll come nowhere close to closing the gaps dramatically illustrated in the chart. We have to start somewhere, though, I suppose.

Oh Perfect World!

2009-12-25T18:37:00.002-07:00

Scientists at UCLA are developing a system of using a modified bacteria, cyanobacterium, to convert CO2 into the liquid fuel isobutanol. Reduce excess CO2 in the atmosphere while generating liquid fuel? Wouldn't it be nice if something like this actually worked with some useful degree of energy efficiency in terms of EROI (Energy Returned On energy Invested)? I hope so.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Why Howard Laughed!

Heh Heh... A Sockpuppet... Heh Heh

2009-12-18T23:22:00.001-07:00

When Will Obama Pander to Those Who Elected Him?

2009-12-17T11:02:00.012-07:00

"Just when I thought I couldn't despise Joe Lieberman more," I said to BalticTiger, referring to his single-handedly killing the Public Option of the healthcare reform bill wending it's way through D.C., and then single-handedly killing the expansion of Medicare to those between the ages of 55 and 64 willing to pay the insurance premiums.

But then I read the case being made by those more intelligent and almost as Progressive as I, that the healthcare reform bill that will be passed is still significant.

From Kevin Drum at Mother Jones, if it passes as it currently stands, here's what changes:

Insurers have to take all comers. They can't turn you down for a preexisting condition or cut you off after you get sick.
Community rating. Within a few broad classes, everyone gets charged the same amount for insurance.
Individual mandate. I know a lot of liberals hate this, but how is it different from a tax? And its purpose is sound: it keeps the insurance pool broad and insurance rates down.
A significant expansion of Medicaid.
Subsidies for low and middle income workers that keeps premium costs under 10% of income.
Limits on ER charges to low-income uninsured emergency patients.
Caps on out-of-pocket expenses.
A broad range of cost-containment measures.
A dedicated revenue stream to support all this.

Okay, that all sounds good and RealPolitic and all. But here's what I find disgusting about the whole Congressional process:

The individual mandate, requiring EVERYONE to purchase health insurance from one of the sleazier, corrupt, and -- no surprise -- unregulated industries in America is, to this blogger's mind, unpardonable. But it was necessary to gain the support of the insurance industry, we were told.

The backroom deals to Big Pharma, already one of the most profitable industries in America, next to investment banking, of course, were necessary to gain their support, we were told.

The change in Medicare reimbursement rates to doctors, whose unGodly high incomes eclipse income rates of doctors in all other countries in the world, and is one of three or four reasons why healthcare is so expensive in the U.S. compared to everywhere else, was necessary to get the support for healthcare reform from those doctors, we were told.

The gutting of the Medicare commission was a way of getting support from hospitals, we were told.

Provisions related to biologics, home healthcare, and the prescription drug doughnut hole were a way of getting the support of AARP, we were told.

And the inclusion of the Public Option was the means of getting support from Progressives who knew that without REAL competition from public sources, whose primary concern would be affordable healthcare rather than exorbitant profit-taking, that the last and best hope to get healthcare costs down would be lost.

But the insurance industry, not wanting to face this threat to their income stream, nay, income river, fought the Public Option, and aided with over $1 million in campaign contributions to Joe Lieberman, got what they wanted.

All these sops, all these give-aways, all this pandering to powerful industries and interests... and yet the only "compromise" in the entire healthcare reform bill was the one that directly addressed the problem of out-of-control healthcare costs because it took on the insurance industry head-on.

As for the Obama Administration's complicity in all this, Glen Greenwald says it better and with more facts and quotes than I ever could.

All the powerful interests got what they wanted. Except for the American people, who will continue to pay the highest healthcare costs of any country in the world.

Doesn't sound like reform of entrenched interests to me. Sounds more like re-trenching.

Shatner vs. Palin

2009-12-11T23:59:00.001-07:00

This had me rolling in the aisles... if my study had aisles... or if I had a study:

Eight Stunning Live Musical Performances

2009-12-05T12:05:00.023-07:00

A friend on Facebook has been counting down his favorite new music of the last decade, one per day. And while it's a very personal list, as all lists like this might be, and while his list is heavy, in my opinion, with rap and hip-hop because he's quite a bit younger than I am, it got me to thinking.

Like everyone else on the planet, over the years, I've created a fairly extensive list of "Favorites" on YouTube. Going through them last night, I realized that my favs are heavy with live performances that just blow me away with talent, both in the instrumental musicianship and vocal power, but also in the composition of the music.

So I've created a radically diverse list of My Favorite Live Musical Performances collected over the years, and will share eight of them with you now (with ten "alternate links"), in no particular order. I have only one criteria: That each video showcase the best live performance of a most talented musician. All choices are based on my limited experience and judgment, of course. YMMV.

David Gilmour, Live in Royal Albert Hall -- Coming Back to Life: While Gilmour and Roger Waters were the spectacular composition duo of Pink Floyd, Gilmour's musicianship shone even brighter after the split. While I would highly recommend that you buy the DVD, here he is in total mastery of the guitar and of his voice:

(Alternate Link with David Bowie singing the Roger Waters part of "Comfortably Numb".)

Fargenbastich -- Even in the Quietest Moments: Anyone can cover a song written by someone else and post it to YouTube. And while most of these are amateurish at best, I found one fellow, Rick aka Fargenbastich, who is not a professional... but could be. The one flaw here: He doesn't write and perform his own music. Still, he has posted a couple dozen of his performances to YouTube, with this one my personal favorite, and he is an exceptional guitarist and singer. This is a beautiful song written and recorded in the late 70s by Supertramp, and Fargenbastich plays it perfectly on one of my most favorite instruments -- the 12-string guitar:

(Alternate Link, Fargenbastich covering the Beatles' "Dear Prudence", a very haunting and complex song.)

David Bowie -- Heroes: This song, written by Bowie three decades ago and performed thousands of times, still endures for me. This particular performance, with talented bassist Gail Ann Dorsey keeping things moving, is the best of the lot. Building slowly and surely until it reaches a crescendo with the audience bounding wildly out of their seats, this is about the butchest look you'll ever see the androgynous yet meaty-voiced Bowie sport:

(Alternate Link, music video "I'm Afraid of Americans" with NIN's Trent Reznor as The Stalker)

Nine Inch Nails w/ Gary Numan -- Metal: Since Bowie once toured with Nine Inch Nails, whose talent lies squarely on the shoulders of Trent Reznor, let's go here next. I recently came across this live performance of NIN at what almost appears to me to also be Royal Albert Hall. The camera swoops and dives around the stage through an other-worldly musical performance. Gary Numan sings and Reznor, who introduces Numan at the start, plays piano and some of the synth rhythms. Perhaps not NIN's best live performance available on YouTube, but as a concert video, it's one of the most hypnotic and mesmerizing I've come across:

(I'll give you two choices: Alternate Link #1 of "Cars" by NIN w/ Gary Numan or Alternate Link #2 of brilliant music-video AND the live version of "ONLY")

Paul Simon -- American Tune: Taking things in a completely different direction, here's a wonderful performance of my most favorite song by this American musical icon. Please disregard Dick Cavett, and for Godsake, stop it when the singing is through!

(Alternate Link of Marilyn Manson. Sorry, but his song and video are kick-ass.) (Didn't like it? Okay then, try this one, "Integral" by Pet Shop Boys)

George Winston -- Rain: I love the piano and wish I had learned to play. No contemporary musician has performed such moving and accessible music for the piano with satisfying melodies and mature, complex performances as George Winston. While I don't like all the "production values" that this video offers, the music just reaches into my soul and blows me away:

(Alternate Link of "Thanksgiving")

Bat for Lashes (Natasha Khan) -- Pearl's Dream: Here's a musician who is young and still obscure. But you'll be hearing a lot more from her in the future. She writes all her own music, and she performed a number of songs for KCRW's Morning Becomes Eclectic studio show. This is the best of the lot for me because I love me some rhythm. At 1:45, the drummer is left holding it all up with bass pedal backbeats, at which point the whole thing could have collapsed. But she takes charge and carries it through. Then at 3:05, everything just takes off and it's hard not to move with the rhythms:

(Alternate Link of "Siren Song" -- equally awesome, quite different, and perhaps more indicative of Khan's talent)

Thom Yorke on the Henry Rollins Show -- Cymbal Rush: This singer for Radiohead is utterly brilliant, of course. But here he does something that I've not seen too often. In a live performance, he stops and starts over. And it works wonderfully:

(Alternate Link to the music-video of Radiohead's monster hit "Creep"... when they were so very young)

There are a couple other live performances that have stunned me and left me speechless -- U2's performance at President Obama's Inauguration is one. Marvin Gaye singing the national anthem at the NBA All-Star game in the early 80's is another. And of course the Eric Clapton et al "Concert for George" DVD. But I don't know if they are available on YouTube, and this is enough for now.

I would love to listen to any personal favorites you have. Just post the links in comments... and if I love them as much as you do, I'll include them here!

See You in Copenhagen

2009-12-05T11:56:00.001-07:00

Will anything become of this opportunity? I'll go ponder it while I go for a bike ride.

It's the End of the World... or at Least of New York

2009-12-02T20:09:00.001-07:00

Best Use of Beethoven's 7th

2009-11-30T00:22:00.002-07:00

Another time-lapse video, this time of the Alps. This was shot by Michael Rissi, who writes: "A new series of timelapse movies which I recorded this summer and autumn in the Swiss Alps. Most locations are only reachable on foot, some need alpine hikes of 3-5 hours. I spent several weekends in cottages of the Swiss Alpine Club (SAC), where I shot these clips. The music is from Beethoven's great 7th Symphony, 2nd movement."

Timelapse movie: The Alps -- part I from Michael Rissi on Vimeo.

Consciousness

2009-11-24T01:11:00.001-07:00

For my lovely wife, who will appreciate this more than anyone I know...

Time-Lapse Favs from Chad Richard on Vimeo.

A Bridge to Nowhere

2009-11-22T10:54:00.001-07:00

Keep Wearing that Pink and Popping Those Collars, Dude

2009-11-10T23:01:00.004-07:00

One of my guilty pleasures is the website, Hot Chicks with Douchebags. And Douchebag1 just turned his punk-ass toadies on to a funny video promoting Douchebag Solidarity... as if all of them weren't already clueless, lone wolfpups.

I Can't Read Your Mind AND I'm Paranoid: A Recipe For Disaster

2009-11-09T13:11:00.002-07:00

It's really tough to read Body English and other non-verbal clues when bicycling. Where some might take offense to an aggressive move and feel they need to take up the challenge, whether one was intended or not, another rider might think that the faster rider was just training hard that day or perhaps has been riding for years and decades to build such strength.

Yesterday, BalticTiger and I were riding north of town -- in the treeless boonies, basically -- and though it was touching the 60's temperature-wise, the sun was behind the clouds, it felt chilly, and we were riding crosswinds to a 10-mph breeze. BalticTiger and I were taking turns pulling. Another rider was maybe 50 yards ahead of us. He was older than both of us and he was quite stocky, but had the telltale thick, muscular calves of an avid cyclist. Over the next mile, we barely closed 40 or 50 feet on him. We weren't trying to catch or pass him.

At the next intersection, we all turned right and were riding into the wind. Very gradually we closed the gap, as I was doing all the pulling now with BalticTiger holding my wheel and very large wake. We were moving at about 19 mph, but the rider ahead, despite his bulk, was riding almost that speed too. For some reason, I don't like to pass other riders too gradually. Either pass them "with authority," I tell myself, or just stay put. But then as the wind finally got to him, the rider in front of us slowed noticeably. As we caught up and passed him, we both said hi, I commented that the wind had picked up, and BalticTiger said how nice a day it still was to ride. And on we went.

But after a couple of minutes, the bulky rider was passing me and I was wondering what was up. Here's where a bit of verbal communication comes in handy. As his front wheel pulled ahead of mine, he said, "I'm gonna take a pull for a minute." And that's what he did. For one minute, after which he pulled over to the left and dropped back. I have to admit that I would have felt a bit challenged if I didn't know he just intended to take a short turn at the front. And if he had sped up even more, I would have stayed with him, even though BalticTiger might have been redlined already. I also have to admit that I really didn't want him to pull because I was "in training" by riding hard into the headwinds. I don't get many opportunities for "training time" when I ride with BalticTiger. (Don't tell her I said that... although she already knows.)

If the guy hadn't pulled over after a minute, I would have passed him anyway... which might have communicated something non-verbally that I didn't intend. Fortunately, everything was copacetic because he spoke up as he passed me earlier.

He went straight at the next intersection, we turned right, and we both went on with our rides.

Lesson to the story: Speak up.

Vlog 2 - Patience I Don't Got

2009-11-09T02:45:00.003-07:00

Part 2 in Howard's (almost weekly) Vlog. This week: Three Things concluding with Howard's realization that writing is hard work. What? You thought you were going to get depth?

Artistic Recursion to the Nth Degree

2009-11-08T21:54:00.002-07:00

recursion

Main Entry: re·cur·sion
Pronunciation: \ri-ˈkər-zhən\

Function: noun

Etymology: Late Latin recursion-, recursio, from recurrere

Date: 1616

1 : return
2 : the determination of a succession of elements (as numbers or functions) by operation on one or more preceding elements according to a rule or formula involving a finite number of steps
3 : a computer programming technique involving the use of a procedure, subroutine, function, or algorithm that calls itself one or more times until a specified condition is met at which time the rest of each repetition is processed from the last one called to the first — compare iteration.

Confused? Now click this link.

Greatness Doesn't Fade, It Just Gets a Bigger Belt

2009-11-05T20:28:00.001-07:00

The Shatner Trifecta...

Vlog 1 - Cycling Has Changed My Life

2009-10-23T16:31:00.005-06:00

Initiating my new weekly videoblog, or Vlog, I decided to discuss the activity closest to my heart -- bicycling. In future weeks: architecture, real estate, unemployment, global warming, weightlifting, running, cats who know they're being videotaped... who knows?

In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

2009-10-20T14:50:00.002-06:00

Last summer I was thrown into a human stew of folks working hard to get an 8-man team of cyclists with Type-2 diabetes from Oceanside, California, near San Diego across the country to Annapolis, Maryland. This was a bicycle race called Race Across AMerica (RAAM), and TT2 completed the race in 7 days 7 hours and 24 minutes. I wrote all about it here.

My role as part of this stew was to navigate the Team Van and make all the decisions for the riders such as who would ride when, and the durations of their "pulls" based on existing variables such as weather, road conditions, elevation changes, and energy levels of the riders.

My driver in the Team Van was Andrew Burgess, who I found out along the way is a singer and guitarist with the band, Dead Letters. The name of the band struck me as waaay too coincidental. You see, my wife, BalticTiger, wrote a novel in 1990, as yet unpublished, called Letters of the Dead.

Anyway, Andrew traveled to Switzerland this summer for the wedding of two friends, and while there, performed a song, "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" by Neutral Milk Hotel. Here he is:

Cover of Neutral Milk Hotel's "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea," live from Switzerland from Andrew Burgess on Vimeo.

Obama Derangement Syndrome

2009-10-13T11:39:00.003-06:00

"The American President just won the Nobel Peace Prize. By any reasonable measure, all Americans should be proud."

It's Always As Challenging As You Hoped It Wouldn't Be

2009-09-18T19:24:00.025-06:00

Numbers never tell the whole story. Except in baseball and in war, where boxscores, players’ stats, and casualty lists can sometimes graze more than just the surface.

Here are some numbers from a single-day bicycle ride:

226.1 miles
15 hours 3 minutes ride time
17 hours 45 minutes total time (5 a.m. to 10:45 p.m.)
14,000 ft. of vertical elevation
12,200 ft. ASL max. altitude
15.0 mph ave. speed
45 mph max. speed

While these numbers might mean something to an avid and experience bicyclist, raising eyebrows and inspiring curiosity, they still come up short in telling the story. WAAAAAAY short.

So here’s a story:

There comes a moment in every epic and challenging ride when one wonders, “Why the hell am I doing this?” This particular ride on this particular day was filled with such moments, culminating in this exchange:

“I don’t think I can finish the ride.”

Deadhead laughed, partly because I’m a big whiner on tough rides, and also because he always laughs. I’ve always liked that about him. In that regard, he reminds me of my dad, although Deadhead is only three years older than I am. Deadhead is a delightful riding companion because he’s an expert at keeping spirits light and always seeing the bright side of every situation.

Only this time, I wanted there to be no doubt.

“I’m serious. When we get to Idaho Springs, I want to find a McDonald’s, where I’m going to reevaluate this ride.”

The smile on Deadhead’s face went away.

How did we get to this point, and how was it resolved? Let’s begin at the beginning.

After a miserable night lacking any good sleep, I laid in bed at 3:30 a.m., finally getting up at 3:45 a.m., quickly showering, dressing, and eating some oatmeal. Loading the bike and my gear, which was already organized and ready to go, I drove to Loveland to meet Deadhead at 4:45 a.m. for our 5 a.m. start. His wife, BikePrincess, saw us off.

Deadhead and I have climbed Trail Ridge Road together from Loveland at 5,000 ft. altitude to the summit of the highest pass in North America at 12,300 ft. two times before. And both times, it kicked my butt. Climbing for 60 miles is torture for a 205 lb. behemoth like myself. But at least I would get to turn around and descend those 60 miles to end the ride.

Not this time. We had only done about half of the climbing and a quarter of the miles for this particular day.

We bundled up as much as we could for the descent down the west side of Trail Ridge, but I had failed to bring full-fingered gloves and leg covers or tights, so the descent was especially cold for me.

Still, it was enjoyable, as we stopped at the Continental Divide at Milner Pass (10,059 ft.) and at a gorgeous overlook before reaching Grand Lake (also gorgeous.)

We stopped in Granby for lunch and then headed south towards Winter Park and Berthoud Pass, but on the flats, we could only go 14 mph. I began to worry about even finishing the ride if all I could muster was 14 mph on level ground.

Later, I realized that it must have been a false flat – to both of us it looked as flat as could be for miles and miles, but was actually a slight climb, imperceptible to the Hypoxian mind.

But the thought of bailing began to invade my thinking at that point.

Looking ahead, we saw a huge thunderstorm and lightning just a few miles to the west of Berthoud Pass. Worried about having to ride through it, we began to discuss what to do.

In Winter Park, there was a McDonald's. I asked if we should stop there and wait it out, if the other option was get caught on the 10-mile climb in a deluge.

Deadhead said, “Maybe we should give it 30 minutes before deciding what to do.”

I thought he was voting that we should keep riding, with the hope of outrunning the storm. I thought to myself, “okay, we’ll do that.” But after we passed the McDonald's, I realized that he might have meant to stop there for half-an-hour instead. Asking him, he confirmed that he was suggesting we stop, which is what he knew I wanted to do. Laughing about it, we decided to just keep going, with the option of turning around and scooting back to Winter Park if it got nasty.

We lucked out as we outran the storm to our right. The highway was busy with traffic, though, there was little or no shoulder, and too many drivers were impatient to move over a bit to the left, making it a very stressful climb.

The first five or six miles went quickly as the grade was fairly moderate. I had my jacket on, but Deadhead said he needed to stop to put his on as well, but I should keep going, and he would catch me. So I stood up on my pedals and sped up to make it extra challenging for him.

That’s when things became really nasty on Berthoud Pass. I came up to a switchback/hairpin turn that became a 7% grade. Being the behemoth that I am, I slowed waaaaay down. Looking at the road below me, I saw Deadhead closing in. I was helpless as I was too big to go any faster. Halfway up the first pitch, Deadhead caught me.

He said the cue sheet we got from Rocky Mountain Cycling Club for the Grand Loop indicated the climb from Winter Park to the summit was 10 miles. We’d already gone eight with two tough miles to go. But those two miles became FIVE miles! We were both very dissappointed and exhausted when we finally reached the top.

And we were now getting quite wet. It was raining… only this storm was coming from our left. We bypassed the first one on our right, but it didn’t matter. Wait around a few minutes in Colorado and the weather will change.

This meant that we got to do another huge descent in the cold… AND the rain!

Both of my knees were aching, and riding fast through a freezing rainstorm without pedaling was going to just kill my knees. So even though Deadhead went flying down the mountainside, I kept my speed at around 25 mph for the 12-mile descent, gripping my brakes tightly while I continued to pedal lightly to save my knees.

I have to say the Berthoud Pass descent on the south side is the BEST DESCENT I'VE EVER SEEN! Steep stretches where I could have gone well over 40 mph for miles at a time, long straight sections that went on forever, broken up with fun switchbacks, and the hugest most generous shoulders I've ever seen. We're going to go back there and climb up it from Empire (on the south side) just to do that descent again someday.

Halfway down the descent, I thought I heard Deadhead yell my name. WHAT? Had he stopped because of the rain? I looked around and didn’t see him. For the next five miles, I kept looking back wondering if he would catch me.

But nope, when I got to the town of Empire, there he was waiting for me. He had waited at least five minutes – that’s how fast he’d gone… and how slow I’d gone. I was enthusiastic about the descent, but lamented that we hadn’t been able to enjoy it because of the rain and cold. Also, I was soaked and frozen to the bone and ready to call it quits. That’s when the conversation occurred…

“I don’t think I can finish the ride.”

Deadhead laughed, partly because I’m a big whiner on tough rides, and also because he always laughs.

But this time, I wanted there to be no doubt.

“I’m serious. When we get to Idaho Springs, I want to find a McDonald’s, where I’m going to reevaluate this ride.”

The smile on Deadhead’s face went away.

What I hadn't noticed was it wasn’t raining anymore. Empire was dry, even though we were still soaked.

Continuing on to Idaho Springs -- ten more miles of less steep descent on side roads, frontage roads, and neglected bike paths strewn with pinecones and pine needles -- we dried out and our spirits lifted. Spinning easily though Idaho Springs, we were feeling back to our usual selves again.

We ate delicious fast food and I warmed up my drenched and heavy bike shoes in the hand dryer in the bathroom, which made my feet feel so much better, though still wet.

Looking at the time, I told Deadhead that I had been worried about descending Lookout Mountain’s steep and twisting road in the dark, entirely dependent on miserable headlamps to keep from pitching off into the void. We had two hours before it got real dark out. Looking at the cue sheet, Deadhead and I saw that we only had 20 miles to go to get to the bottom of Lookout Mountain. Piece of cake, right?

Riiiiight. As it turned out, the steepest miles we climbed that day were along a small country road paralleling Interstate 70. UGH! More 5 and 6 mph drudgery with painful knees and bad attitudes.

But finally we made it to the top of Lookout Mountain. It was 7 p.m. and it was starting to get dark, but not too dark to fly down the mountainside. I said we should stop, put our lights back on, eat and drink and take some Enduralytes.

While we were doing that, a couple a cyclists rode past us asking if we were okay. I said we were fine and that we were headed back to Loveland… still 60 miles away! They looked at us kind of funny. I said to nobody as they rode away, “If only they knew where we’ve ridden just to get here!” Another barely noticed cyclist was standing nearby and began to ask us questions. Telling him our route, he asked, “Are you doing the Grand Loop?” It turns out that this rider was the stud racing champion of RMCC, Mark Lowe, who had won the 1-2-3 Challenge earlier in the summer (Deadhead finished merely 4th) and had ridden the Grand Loop in early August. He asked when we started and complimented us on how quickly we had gone so far.

Looking at my watch, it was time to go, and the fun began. We stopped once for pictures, but the descent of Lookout Mountain is one of the finer joys to be found in cycling.

Then we headed north towards Boulder. Stopping at a 7-11, I grabbed a pint of chocolate milk and replenished my Gatorade supply for the 55-mile ride home. Deadhead called BikePrincess and told her to expect us in about 3 hours. This pint of chocolate milk was my 5th for the day as I’ve learned that it is the greatest endurance fuel I’ve ever drunk. Protein, sugar, chocolate, and a pint of liquid. Mmmmm.

Even though we were now on familiar “flat lands”, they were far from flat and not so familiar in the darkness. We took turns pulling way too fast and still slowed to 8 mph on the rollers. But as we got down to the final five miles our pace picked up to 20-23 mph!

At 10:45 p.m. and half a block from Deadhead’s house we heard cowbells, hahaha! BikePrincess had been waiting for us (after buying some New Belgium beer and making some popcorn) to give us a champion’s welcome. It took a while to drink our beers because we were so busy talking about the epic day… and about how we almost didn’t make it. Deadhead confessed that he wouldn’t have made it back from Golden without me, as since I was considering calling BalticTiger to come rescue me at Idaho Springs, Deadhead was also ready to call BikePrincess for a rescue from Golden.

Yup, the Grand Loop is the kind of ride that makes you question "Why the hell am I doing this?" But when you have a partner or friends, it makes all the difference.

2009 Venus de Miles

2009-08-31T16:28:00.007-06:00

If women ruled the world, everything wouldn't necessarily work better or safer or more efficiently. There might still even be plenty of wars.

But I'll tell you one thing -- everything would be a lot more fun!

I know.

Because I lived and biked in a women-designed, women-centric, women-on-top world for one day yesterday... and I loved every moment of it.

Yesterday was the 2nd Annual Venus de Miles Road Ride -- an organized bike ride FOR WOMEN ONLY. And your humble servant, Howard, got to ride in it.

I know what you're saying: "But Howard, you are all dude. What gives?"

And you would be right. I am all dude. But let me let you in on a little secret: Volunteerism is good. Very good. Because this year the organizers came up with a great idea: Mechanics in Drag -- men with bike-repair skills riding alongside the women... wearing... um... pretty things.

Yes, I found the loophole that allowed a dozen men like myself to ride alongside 1,500 women. Those are good odds, don't you think?

So I donned my grass skirt and coconuts and leis and finest frou frou and rode the Venus de Miles metric century alongside BalticTiger, wheels_go_round, BikePrincess, our friend Catherine (as pictured left to right), and nearly 1,500 strong and amazing women (behind them).

To be continued...

What Is A Moment?

2009-08-25T22:25:00.000-06:00

Take one... another excellent, excellent video:

If You've Never Failed, You've Never Lived

2009-08-13T01:30:00.001-06:00

Life = Risk. Excellent, excellent video with a life lesson for us all!

Dave Chappelle on Gates Before Gates

2009-07-31T17:10:00.001-06:00

Funny in retrospect...

2009 Race Across America -- or -- What I Did On My Summer Vacation

2009-07-01T09:58:00.007-06:00

Howard recently crewed for a team of eight bicyclists with type-2 diabetes who participated in a race across America. It's a 3000-mile race called, oddly enough, Race Across America, or RAAM. Here is my personal experience of RAAM, greatly condensed... and way too positive to accurately represent the reality of the event.

I spent a week at Cannon Beach, Oregon celebrating my wife's parents' 50th Anniversary at a huge family reunion. Then I flew from Portland to San Diego. After some anxious minutes, I finally hooked up with my chauffeur, Saul, one of the riders who unfortunately got bumped from the ride. We also found the pediatric endocrinologist and team doc for Team Type 1, and headed to Oceanside's pier via GPS -- my first experience with them. Worked like a charm.

Because of the family reunion, I was among the very last to arrive in San Diego. When I arrived, it seemed like everyone knew each other and I was surrounded by strangers. But I quickly found two friends, Zin and JulieB, and then saw a couple other riders, Mark and Tim, whom I had ridden with in Colorado on training rides with Zin. I also found and talked to BikeJournal's Homey and Veronica with team JDRF.

Soon it was time for the TT1 & 2 group picture. Everyone already had their "crew team kits", but I didn't yet, so JulieB let me borrow her TT2 hoodie:

Then we went to an auditorium where all the teams were introduced. I found it utterly mesmerizing and found myself thinking I HAD to be up on that stage next year. When they introduced the 4-man team on hand-crank bikes, everyone gave them a standing ovation that lasted two minutes. Very moving and inspiring.

Then it was time for dinner. The mass of 30-some Team Type 2 folks, along with an equal contingent of Team Type I riders and crew all piled into a flotilla of RVs and vans, were given simple directions to a nearby mall and food court, and told that if we couldn't find it, we had no business driving across the country. The driver and navigator of our RV promptly got lost and ended up at our hotel instead, where they stopped and stomped off due to all the verbal abuse. Howard is a kindly soul and never said a harsh word. Instead I tried to ask the others to get used to it. The whole week was going to be like this.

So I checked into the hotel and asked if any restaurants were within walking distance. "No," was the answer. "Nothing? No McDonald's? No Subways?" "Oh, there's a Subway down the street but it's too far to walk." "How far is it?" "Oh, at least a mile or mile-and-a-half." Off I went and had a nice dinner at Subway. Lesson Learned: Californians consider walking distance to be within half a mile or less.

The next morning, we all packed up and headed back to an area near the pier, where we met and talked to lots of folks with diabetes and a doctor or two who treat diabetics. I didn't know too much, so I listened to the conversations. Later on, as the week wore on, I asked my riders to fill me in on the physiology and treatment of diabetes and they did. I also met BikeJournal's Robo there and gave him my cell phone number so he could check up on our progress, which he did three times during the week. Robo has ridden RAAM numerous times.

Then it was time to race and all the riders headed down to the pier while my rider van headed to the first rider exchange point 25 miles down the road.

This is how the vans and RVs worked for Team Type 2. There were 32 of us -- 8 riders and 24 crew members. The riders were divided into two squads of four, and each squad was matched up with four crew members -- a follow van with a driver and navigator and a rider van with a driver and navigator. The remaining 16 crew members were assigned to either a rider RV, a crew RV, or a utility van. The squad of four riders, four crew members, and two vans were out on the road for between 120 miles and 190 miles while the RVs and utility van filled with everyone else would zoom on ahead to the transition point, always a time station, and await the arrival of the active riders, crew, and their two vans. The follow van would always follow the active rider, who moved along at between 6 mph and 63 mph (yes, we had a very large guy who was packed with descending muscle and could fly down the descents.) The rider van carried the other three riders who were on the clock but between pulls, and that's the van that I navigated and made all the rider exchange decisions for. We were constantly leap-frogging the follow van and active rider, finding a good place to pull off the shoulder for a rider exchange, then getting the next rider ready to ride, making the exchange, loading up the last rider's bike up, and then zooming down the road again. Pulls were usually 4 to 5 miles long, though we would shorten them up if we were climbing or the four or five times we were in direct racing competition with another team. The active squad of riders and crew would do this over and over and over again for 8 to 11 hours typically while all the other riders and crew in the RVs relaxed and tried to sleep.

At the squad transition points, the fresh squad would choose the rider to lead them out, and since the follow van had to stay with the rider between 8 p.m. and 6 a.m., this usually meant very quick exchanges of crew and supplies in the follow van as well. The rider van could take a bit more time to clean out the van and replace all the supplies. Once the squads were replaced and the two vans took off, the tired riders would shower in temporary shower facilities and eat food prepared by the RV crew. Then they would zoom ahead to the next transition point, trying to sleep on the moving RV, and usually being more successful once the RV stopped at the transition point.

Everything was humming along on the first day. We found a good spot to sit and await the two Team Type 2 riders that got to lead out from the starting line -- Zin and Peter. Zin because he was the Team Manager for Team Type 2 and Peter because he was the poster boy for Type 2 diabetics since he weighed 320 pounds and was the associate director for the Milwaukee American Diabetes Association chapter and a genuinely nice, articulate, and personable man. He was on my squad of riders and quickly became The Descender. At one point late in the race we came up to a 7 mile 9% descent, and we quickly duct-taped a camera to his aerobars to film the descent. It was spectacular, though it was also much too curvy and dangerous, darnit.

When Deadhead and I did the Hoodoo 500 last September, the race director had told me that the race would be decided within the first five miles. So at the start of RAAM, I was thinking about this as we waited and wondered what was going to happen. After watching most of the teams go past us, our riders finally showed up and we did our first rider exchange. We were slotted into a later spot among the teams, which was no surprise, as winning was never a concern. That was Team Type 1's goal... which they reached, setting a record for 8-man teams. But for us, thriving and surviving the ordeal, and doing it within 7 days was the goal, knowing that scores of thousands of type-2 diabetics could and would take encouragement from the success of our riders racing over 3,000 miles across the continent in 7 days.

The rhythms and textures of the race began to emerge very quickly. Each rider would do his pull as a time trial -- at or close to lactic threshold -- for 15 minutes before being replaced by another rider. The retiring rider would then have about 45 minutes to recover and prepare for his next "time trial". Being type-2 diabetics, they tested their blood glucose levels before and after every pull. Seeing numbers as high as 190 followed by a low of 80 or 90 afterward was pretty typical for some of them. Those kinds of extreme swings were kind of shocking to a couple of the riders who hadn't expected to see such spreads, but all the riders in the van were constantly talking back and forth, helping and advising each other every step of the way. Zin was especially knowledgeable and helpful with this. My driver, Andrew, and I would talk a lot too, but mostly we just listened to the delightful chatter in the back seats as a couple of the riders had wonderfully quick and colorful senses of humor.

Those times in the rider van spent talking, laughing, planning strategies, determining who would ride on what kind of terrain and for how long, and finding places to pull off the road safely were the VERY BEST times for me and Andrew during the week. The times on the RV were another story...

Once we reached our destination, the transition point where we would end our shift, the drivers and navigators would be left to our own devices. The showers and food being prepared were for the riders only, so we had to find food or go without. And unfortunately, many times there was no food to be found at the transition point. And being wound up from all the high-intensity focus we had to bring to our jobs for hours on end, finding sleep was very difficult, especially when the generator and air conditioner stopped working in Kansas. The first four days, I would honestly estimate that I slept all of 10 hours. More and more raggedy and stinky we became. Somewhere in Kansas, I believe, one the crew in the utility van offered to take our stinky clothes to a laundromat. That is where I think I lost my most cherished BolderBoulder shirt from last Memorial Day. But at least we all had clean clothes.

Unfortunately, the temps and humidity began to beat down on us. I've lived all my life in dry Wyoming, dry Colorado, and dry Arizona. Humid Missouri, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, and Maryland were too much for me, especially with heat at or over 100F! All my clean clothes quickly became stinky again so that during days 6 and 7, all I had left were my swim trunks and a black sports tee. Fortunately, many of our shifts were at night during those last few days.

The highlights of the race? Riding through Monument Valley near Mexican Hat, Utah in the early morning hours, and as the sky lightened, the outlines of the Wiley T. Coyote buttes began to emerge. Then the sky filled with color and we could begin to make out details of the rocky outcroppings. Then more light and we could see texture and features of the majestic mountains. We were all mesmerized and grateful that our squad got to experience this moment.

Another amazing moment was as we were climbing the continental divide northeast of Chama, New Mexico into Colorado and towards Antonito and then back down to Taos, New Mexico. The stars were beyond description. None of us had seen the Milky Way Galaxy so clearly and brightly in decades as we all came from population centers smeared with light pollution. When you're at 10,000 ft. altitude and hundreds of miles away from any city over 50,000 population, the stars are utterly spectacular. I'm afraid JulieB and her driver Jeremy didn't see much of this because they were obligated to stay with the active rider, illuminating the road ahead. JulieB is an avid amateur astronomer too. But then I know for a fact that she gets to see the stars more than most of us, so I guess I shouldn't feel so bad for her.

Another memorable moment came after we crossed the Missouri river, in Missouri of course, and I put Zin on the pull because we were about to tackle one of the most difficult climbs of the entire week, Dutzow Hill. It was only a mile long, but it had sustained pitches of 20%! Lucky to find a pull-out at the very top of the hill, my driver Andrew, who was the official photojournalist of Team Type 2, videotaped the final 30 yards of Zin's climb/suffering. At the very top, Peter yelled, "That was fucking awesome!" which upset Andrew because it meant that he couldn't post the video to the TT2 website blog. I suggested that Zin go down and do it again, but nobody thought that was a very good idea.

Yet another great moment was as we were within 25 miles of the Mississippi River. Zin had mentioned how much he was looking forward to crossing it, and crossing it before the time cutoff of Friday at 5 p.m. When Zin was doing a pull, Peter requested that Zin get to be the one to cross the Mississippi. Great idea, I agreed, and began to calculate pulls to make this happen. It quickly became apparent that I would have to shorten pulls down to 3 and 4 miles to ensure that Zin was the man. So that's what I did without telling anyone. They were all too frazzled by the heat to notice that they were pulling for 10 and 12 minutes instead of 15 or 17 minutes, so that when we reached the time station just before the river, I put Zin out and he had no idea we were so close to it. After we loaded up the previous rider and drove past Zin, I stuck my head out the window and yelled, "enjoy!" 30 seconds later, we came around a bend and there it was, a brand new beautiful gold single-tower suspension bridge over the Mississippi.

Afterward, he remarked that it was going to be one of the most memorable moments of his week of RAAM. I made sure to let him know that it was Peter's idea.

Illinois was flat but around 110F. Southeast of Springfield, JulieB's parents brought doughnuts for everyone, which perked up all our spirits. We were also parked next to an air conditioned McDonald's. The kind with nice bathrooms. That perked up everyone's spirits too.

On through Illinois to Indiana we went. Indiana is kind of hilly and hot, as was Ohio. Sorry to the Hoosiers and Buckeyes, but I pretty much blocked out all memories of your states, hahahahaha!

West Virginia, on the other hand, I'll never get out of my head. In one bathroom at a gas station, I went in and on the other side of the door a sign was posted... OUT. No, I'm not kidding. I wish I was, but that's really what it said. Off we went into the West Virginia night and there wasn't a speck of flat anywhere for the next 190 miles. It was our worst shift yet. The climbs were horribly steep and endless, the forests made creepy sounds, I could swear I heard banjos a duelin', and the towns were few, sparse, and filled with mud, dogs, and uneducation. The guys were all suffering and I as their leader was getting fuzzy and unfocused. I began to make mistakes.

Eventually the sun began to rise and we could see the countryside. Absolutely beautiful, foggy but green and luscious. Plus, we soon came into Maryland. Feeling a bit perked up, our average began to pick up. But then at one rider exchange, Jeremy, the driver of the follow van needed to pull over fast to go to the bathroom and drove straight into a mud bog. I sent the rider on ahead because there weren't any turns in the route for 12 miles, and we all pushed and pushed and pushed again, finally getting the van back on the road. Then we spent the next five minutes cleaning off our shoes and/or cleats. Zooming ahead, we found our active rider, who was kinda freaked out that it took so long for us to catch him. After that, the day never coalesced again for us as racers and we finished that time station with a 12-something mph average. Yuck!

Anyway, that was our worst day, and though we had lots of shifts earlier with 18 mph and 20 mph averages, we just hoped the other squad could have some good pulls to get our team average back up enough to get us to the finish line by Saturday night. They did turn in some good pulls, and we had some better ones too, but not like the first four or five days, darnit.

Late Saturday afternoon, we got the final shift to take us to Annapolis and the guys were stoked. We averaged between the final three time stations anywhere from 15.7 to 17.7 to 20.9 mph. Letting Zin and another fast rider from Indiana, Bill, paceline each other for a final 6-mile pull into the "official race" finish line, we zoomed ahead to find the four riders from the other squad waiting to join our four riders for the final ceremonial ride to the Annapolis bay and the ceremonial finish line a bit after midnight. 7 Days, 7 Hours, 24 Minutes. Here they are:

L to R - Congratulations to Mark, Denny, John, Peter, Bob, Zin, Larry ("Cleeeve!"), and Bill!

Here are a few other memories from the Team Type 2 RAAM "experience":

As we were touring Gettysburg, Pennsylvania (I found it awe-inspiring), our race leader, Kevin, got a call that Bob Chiasson had cut his leg on his pedal and that a race official had sent him to the hospital. He was being transported in the utility van, which also contained Peter's shoes. His cleats were worn down by the abrasiveness of the mud bog we got stuck in, so he gave the shoes to that crew so they could buy new cleats. Bob's trip to the hospital added to the degree of difficulty in getting this done in time for the beginning of our next shift, not to mention the difficulties it put the other squad in with only three riders. But all came together nicely. Bob got his stitches, Peter got his new cleats, and the crew found a YMCA where some of us (namely, me) got their first and only showers of the entire week.

In the panhandle of Oklahoma, we were set up by the side of the road awaiting our rider so we could put in another. As the rider approached, a car passed the follow van and rider and then stopped directly next to our van. An elderly couple. I immediately stuck my head in their window, asking/demanding of them to move forward immediately and I would come and talk to them soon. Fortunately, they did exactly that and the rider switch was made. Then I walked up to talk to them. They said they had seen bicyclists on their road for days and were wondering what what going on. I told them all about RAAM and the distances involved and how we had started from San Diego just three days earlier, and how our team were all type-2 diabetics taking control of their lives and health, and this nice old couple was transfixed and astonished. A good moment.

One of our riders, Larry Cleveland aka Cleve, was not on any medications for his diabetes. He had learned to control the highs and lows with diet, exercise, and careful monitoring. He almost didn't make the team because he was one of two NOT taking the drugs sold by the TT2 pharmaceutical sponsors, Lantus and Apidra. But Andrew and I were very glad he was on our squad. He was a riot! The guy had hilarious one-liners from Oceanside to Annapolis that kept us all entertained. There were moments when everyone in the van was laughing uncontrollably because of some witticism of Larry's. But because he wasn't on The Product, it meant his glucose shifts were sometimes extreme, which made him quite moody at times. That poor guy suffered more than anyone else, emotionally, and was practically to tears many times throughout the week. I had to talk to him one-on-one many times to assure and reassure him that though he might not receive the same support "post-race" from the sponsors as the others, he still had stories to tell based on his unique lessons learned. On his last and final pull of the week, I stuck my head out the window as we passed and yelled, "Cleeeeeeeeeeeeeve!"

This one's for you, buddy. You done good.

I've Never Seen Anything Like This Before

2009-06-05T18:23:00.001-06:00

"No one can change the past, but we can change the future."

Time Lapse of the Canary Islands

2009-06-05T00:15:00.000-06:00

CANARIAS TIMELAPSE from luis garcia de armas on Vimeo.

Pure Enjoyment

2009-06-02T00:52:00.001-06:00

Here's something that gives deep satisfaction...

What I'll Be Doing On Memorial Day

2009-05-22T12:28:00.009-06:00

With Update Below...

Every year for the past two years, I've ran the BolderBoulder on Memorial Day with about 50,000 of my best friends. This year is no different, except that based on my qualifying time of 49:23 last year, I'll be starting in the eighth wave of the race -- in the CA heat starting at 7:07 a.m.

My goal this year is to finish in under 49 minutes -- less than my age -- because, other than recognizing the top finishers in each division, the only other awards given out to citizen racers are to those who can run the course faster in minutes than their age.

The past two years, as I approached Folsom Field and the finish line, I've thought of my grandma and gotten a bit emotional. 10 fast-paced kilometers will do that to a person. In 2007, they had bagpipes playing at the final turns into Folsom, which always reminded me of my grandma, and I nearly lost it. Last year, no bagpipes, but I still thought of her.

Now here's a wonderful video of the course, narrated by Frank Shorter, and when he got to that same point in the course, yup, I kinda welled up again.

Anyway, here's what I'll be doing on Memorial Day.

Frank Shorter narrates the Bolder Boulder Course from Ryan Van Duzer on Vimeo.

And another video made by Ryan Van Duzer, who seems to be at every fun athletic event in Colorado...

Update: I beat my personal best time by 30 seconds AND MY AGE by 6 seconds! In the final mile a father was encouraging and coaching his young son and I took his words to heart -- "finish strong", "leave it all out here by the time we reach the finish line", and "push, don't let up, we're almost there." I finished with 6 seconds to spare, and wouldn't have done it without that dad. I couldn't find him afterward to thank him, though I did grab a bit of his jersey trying to get an assist as he passed me as we entered Folsom Field, saying, "I hope you don't mind." He smiled... and then took off.

Notice the Excessive Disclaimers at the End of Each Show?

2009-05-01T11:22:00.005-06:00

Confession time...

We watch and enjoy The Biggest Loser. If you don't and just don't care, you should stop reading now.

Still here? Okay, we continue.

We dislike but tolerate all the product endorsements built into every episode. We really dislike all the time-wasting narrated regurgitations by the contestants telling us what we already saw and understood. But then maybe the average viewer's IQ demands narrated regurgitation? We don't know.

Anyway, here's a link to a critical review of The Biggest Loser written by an author and "Board Certified Specialist in Sports Diuretics", which when combined with all the credential letters following her name means that she must know a thing or two about diet, nutrition, and physiology.

Well, that's not going to stop me from saying a few choice criticisms of my own.

The writer exaggerates, at least on the diet portion of her article. TBL encourages eating lean but appropriately. That's definitely one thing they do and she's unfairly critical of the show in that aspect. Also, her discussion of diets as a poor way to lose weight is way too simple-minded and a destructive message because NOTHING ELSE WORKS WITH THE OBESE!

And then she says that cutting 100 calories a day from daily consumption is a more sustainable way (although she doesn't use that word) of losing weight and then keeping it off. However, this is hideously naive, as anyone who knows about basic physiology knows that if you do that and lose three pounds over three months (yes, that's all a 100-calorie deficit would yield), gradually your body's daily caloric demands would decrease a small amount so the deficit between what your body wants daily and what you consume would close up. Meaning that your body would no longer need that 100 calories a day and plateau at your new "three-pounds-lighter" weight... if you're lucky to even get THAT!

Five years ago, I lost 45 pounds over three months on a very harsh and strict macrobiotic diet. There's a reason I lost 20 pounds the first month, then 15 pounds the next month, and only 10 pounds the last month -- diminishing returns based on that narrowing caloric deficit.

TBL is all about changing lives in a substantial way for obese people, which are now 32.7% of Americans. It's not about lowering body fat percentage of already-svelte gym rats from 8% to 7%. The BIG message of TBL is "Lose the Weight Using Harsh and Mercenary Methods, if that's what it takes, because Your Life Will Change in Profound, Wonderful, and Life-Sustaining Ways."

I agree that losing 14 pounds a week is grossly unrealistic for nearly everyone on the planet. But anyone who has lost a lot knows that it has to be a war where calorie count is a full-time job. It's not about denying yourself 100 measly calories of goldfish crackers a day. It's about making and committing to significant life-style changes, including exercise, that can't be made just by cutting a few calories.

My Name is Daichi

2009-05-01T11:18:00.000-06:00

As my wife said, "Amazing what one can do when one has no other obligations or hobbies in ones life."

Aerobic Meditation

2009-04-29T11:04:00.004-06:00

Some days I run, most days I ride my bike, but every day I can get out is like this. Don't turn up the sound. It gets going in 60 seconds. Just wait for it...

Onwards from AKQA on Vimeo.

Deeply Flawed Tourist Trap as Metaphor

2009-04-20T16:08:00.006-06:00

Four Corners is in the wrong spot!

The spot where four states -- Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, and Utah -- come together is actually 2.5 miles to the east!

For some reason, I find this news deeply disturbing. Someone 141 years ago said, "this is the spot," everyone believed him, they built a tourist trap, generations of Americans -- millions and millions of us -- visited and did the sprawled eagle pose, and ONLY NOW did we find out the whole thing was a sham based on extreme incompetence.

Could it be?... The perfect metaphor for America?!

Now you understand how disturbing I find this news to be.

Update: The Supreme Court says, "Never mind." So does Deadhead in comments. We can all rest easy. Now about that metaphor...

Its A Start

2009-04-15T00:51:00.004-06:00

Click on it if you want to actually SEE it...
Via The Daily Dish by Andrew Sullivan.

The Tyranny of Potato Day

2009-04-08T16:54:00.000-06:00

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

Baracknophobia - Obey

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Economic Crisis

Political Humor

Here's Your Change

2009-03-25T00:24:00.001-06:00

At a press conference today, Ed Henry asked President Obama why it took him a few days to respond to the AIG bonus scandal. Answer: "It took me a couple of days because I like to know what I'm talking about before I say something."

A Portfolio of March Bicycle Rides

2009-03-18T12:26:00.002-06:00

Here's a little video I put together to illustrate just how wonderful Colorado weather can be, especially for us bicyclists. (Be patient, it can take a few extra seconds to get started.)

I may or may not do another video for the rest of the month...

How to Destroy the Planet, Part VII: Nanotechnology

2009-03-16T01:23:00.002-06:00

Looking for a way to express your own inner evil genius? Try nanotechnology...

Chicago Sheriff Refuses to Foreclose

2009-03-13T23:32:00.003-06:00

From Newsweek comes the story of the Cook County Sheriff, Thomas Dart, who has stopped foreclosures...

"Until you're physically out there, you can't really get the magnitude of what you're actually up to. It sounds like it's an antiseptic process, and it's anything but that. In the majority of the homes I was going into, there were always little kids around—I mean, really young kids, and we're taking them and putting them out on the street. A lot of them were seniors, and a lot of them had issues with dementia. Once again—we're taking them out to the street … Most of these neighborhoods are not good neighborhoods. Once [their belongings are] out on the street, we leave. While they're off looking for transportation, the few things they own are being stolen."

Read it here.

No Wonder Cats Are So Fascinated With Them

2009-03-06T23:57:00.002-07:00

As your architect, I would normally advise you not to try this at home yourself. However, in this case, I make an exception.

I can think of a few other things they could have tried...

Most Energy-Efficient Transport?

2009-03-02T00:12:00.013-07:00

What is the most energy-efficient form of human transportation?

Would you believe me if I said bicycling?

In terms of calories expended over any distance traveled, yes, it turns out that riding a bicycle is as good as it gets.

Of all the common modes of transport, taking a bus is second best. Walking and taking a train, Amtrak, come in third and fourth. Flying and riding a motorcycle come in a distant fifth and sixth.

Riding your bicycle 350 miles at 15 mph -- as has been calculated and tabulated for you by the fine folks at Good Magazine -- requires the equivalent of 16 Whoppers with cheese, or 12,300 calories of energy. Plus, your health will improve dramatically. Never mind that it'll take you 23 hours and 20 minutes to get there. You're not in that big of a hurry, are you?

How about those other modes of travel? Well... walking takes three times as many Whoppers with cheese as bicycling, 36,960 calories, and over four times as much time -- 100 hours!

Please, you say. I'm a civilized human being. Give me motorized transport.

To start, you need to know that one gallon of gasoline contains 31,000 calories. So that bus ride requires about 36,000 calories and 5:50 to get you 350 miles. Not bad at all. Amtrak requires 70,000 calories of energy and 4:22 of time. Still not too bad. Your average sedan? A whopping 403,000 calories and 5:50! Well then, you smile back, what about the new hybrid technology? Nope, 248,000 calories and 5:50.

Finally, trust me when I say: Don't even ask about that SUV in your driveway...

If we EVER hope to cut down on our dependence on fossil fuels, we'll either need to INVENT/DISCOVER another fuel source as packed with caloric goodness as long-chain hydrocarbons... or re-learn to ride our bikes, be a bit more patient, and learn to love Whoppers!

House Foreclosure Often Includes Personal Possessions Too

2009-02-25T18:17:00.008-07:00

Sometimes homeowners facing foreclosure don't have the money to move all their stuff out, or they're upside-down on their home, owing more than the house is worth, so they'll just leave the keys and take off. In these cases, banks often find lots of personal property left behind that often goes straight to the landfills. Here's an interesting but sad video documenting the clean-up:

Help Ease the Burden

2009-02-20T11:53:00.004-07:00

From the article, "Newly Poor Swell Lines at Food Banks" in the NYTimes:

“These are people who never really had to ask for help before,” said Brenda Beavers, human services director for the Salvation Army in New Jersey, which dispenses emergency food supplies at 30 pantries throughout the state. “They were once givers and now they’re having to ask for assistance.”

If you're one of the fortunate ones who still have a job, try and remember to donate to your local food bank...

Ready to Ride in the Tour of California?

2009-02-16T17:02:00.007-07:00

The Amgen Tour of California in an eight-stage (plus a Prologue time-trial) bicycle race that covers much of California from Sacramento to the Golden Gate Bridge, to the Redwoods and the wind turbine farms in the Central Valley, and the San Gabriel Mountains to Mt. Palomar and San Diego. It has quickly become America's premier bicycle event almost comparable to the Tour de France.

Almost. Californian Levi Leipheimer is the reigning champion, but it also features Lance and Floyd and David and Big George and Fabian and 130 others*.

Riders with a bicycle apparel company, Rapha, put this nice video together, and rode the ToC route, documenting and charting and mapping everything, so avid cyclists who might might want to experience the entire ride for themselves will know what to expect.

*Who are all better cyclists than you and me.

Guilty Pleasures

2009-02-12T00:27:00.003-07:00

Admit it. You're weak. You're human. You have Internet needs. You have favorite websites you like to visit somewhat regularly because they show you what you want and need to see. But you could NEVER tell anyone else about them!

Until now.

It's time to fess up. Give up your links!

To get this freakshow started, here are a few of mine...

1. This is why you're fat. The corndog pizza and the turbaconucken crack me up every time I see them. And they make me drool. I feel so dirty looking at these Creations of the Gods.

2. Hot Chicks with Douchebags. Hot women, disturbing orange douchebags. The world's not a fair nor sensible place.

3. Pansy Talks, Talks, Talks... Pansy Palmetto is her porn name, she's a good friend of mine, and holy crap but can she tell a story. And as far as I can tell, ALL of them are true!

I know you have your guilty pleasures. I can hear you breathing heavily. Now give up those links in comments... anonymously, if necessary.

But It's Not Stimulus, It's Spending! Well... duh.

2009-02-08T21:12:00.008-07:00

Friday night, I'm watching Rachel Maddow on MSNBC, one of the most intelligent news programs anywhere on teevee. And she talks for eight minutes about the stimulus package wending its way through Washington D.C. Her eight minutes is as good as it gets, folks. If, after seeing this, you still can't understand why we need a trillion dollars worth of government spending RIGHT NOW, you never will.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Don't Drink the Water!

2009-02-07T23:15:00.002-07:00

Time for a cartoon. No reason. No metaphors or analogies or segueways. Just a cartoon...

Uncertainty in the Face of Ignorance is No Excuse

2009-02-07T22:29:00.010-07:00

Usually I don't know what I don't know. But sometimes -- much too rare an occurrence, unfortunately -- I grasp how much I DON'T know. At those times, as everything explodes into my lap, my ignorance is not bliss. I know EXACTLY how much I still need to learn.

I'm posting a remarkable essay on ignorance, though I don't know squat about the author, and I can't even provide an adequate link to the source, which is here, behind a subscription wall.

Mark Slouka wrote a rant on ignorance published in Harper's Magazine that is very much worth reading by anyone who is intelligent and honest enough to acknowledge their own ignorance. It's a bit long for the short-attention-span types that I typically write for here. I should know... I'm one of them!

I agree with every word of this... except for that business about bookstores (?!) Whatever. Enjoy:

What we need to talk about, what someone needs to talk about, particularly now, is our ever-deepening ignorance (of politics, of foreign languages, of history, of science, of current affairs, of pretty much everything) and not just our ignorance but our complacency in the face of it, our growing fondness for it.

A generation ago the proof of our foolishness, held up to our faces, might still have elicited some redeeming twinge of shame—no longer. Today, across vast swaths of the republic, it amuses and comforts us. We’re deeply loyal to it. Ignorance gives us a sense of community; it confers citizenship; our representatives either share it or bow down to it or risk our wrath.

Seen from a sufficient distance (a decade abroad, for example), or viewed through a protective filter, like film, or alcohol, there can be something almost endearing about it. It can appear quaint, part of our foolish-but-authentic, naive-yet-sincere, roughhewn spirit. Up close and personal, unromanticized and unfiltered, it’s another thing entirely.

In the flesh, barking from the electronic pulpit or braying back from the audience, our ignorance can be sobering. We don’t know. Or much care. Or care to know. What do we care about? We care about auto racing and Jessica. We care about food, oh yes, please, very much. And money. (Did you catch the last episode of I Love Money?) We care about Jesus, though we’re a bit vague on his teachings. And America. We care about America. And the flag. And the troops, though we’re untroubled by the fact that the Bush Administration lied us into the conflict, then spent years figuring out that armor in war might be bookstores to lay our money down.

Wherever it may have resided before, the brain in America has migrated to the region of the belt—not below it, which might at least be diverting, but only as far as the gut—where it has come to a stop. The gut tells us things. It tells us what’s right and what’s wrong, who to hate and what to believe and who to vote for. Increasingly, it’s where American politics is done. All we have to do is listen to it and the answer appears in the little window of the eight ball: “Don’t trust him. Don’t know. Undecided. Just because, that’s why.”

We know because we feel, as if truth were a matter of personal taste, or something to be divined in the human heart, like love.

I was raised to be ashamed of my ignorance, and to try to do something about it if at all possible. I carry that burden to this day, and have successfully passed it on to my children. I don’t believe I have the right to an opinion about something I know nothing about—constitutional law, for example, or sailing — a notion that puts me sadly out of step with a growing majority of my countrymen, many of whom may be unable to tell you anything at all about Islam, say, or socialism, or climate change, except that they hate it, are against it, don’t believe in it.

Worse still (or more amusing, depending on the day) are those who can tell you, and then offer up a stew of New Age blather, right-wing rant, and bloggers’ speculation that’s so divorced from actual, demonstrable fact, that’s so not true, as the kids would say, that the mind goes numb with wonder.

“Way I see it is,” a man in the Tulsa Motel 6 swimming pool told me last summer, “if English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it’s good enough for us.”

I Tried, I Really Tried!

2009-02-06T17:04:00.006-07:00

Everybody remembers their first.

For me, in 1978, I went door to door politicking and canvassing for the first time in my life. I don't even remember the name of the Democratic congressional candidate for the U.S. House of Representatives from Wyoming [okay, it was Bill Bailey.]

But I do remember why I was participating -- because his opponent was Dick Cheney, the nastiest piece of work to enter Wyoming politics since the Teapot Dome Scandal of 1921-23. Look it up, I'll wait...

Anyway, as I recall, Cheney won handily, and during his terms as Wyoming's one and only congressman, he was The Most Extreme Conservative* in all the land. After that, it just went downhill from there.

Keith Olbermann's current advice for Cheney? Leave! Just leave!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

*He voted against Martin Luther King Day, against creating the Department of Education, against Head Start, in favor of apartheid in South Africa, and voted against a non-binding resolution calling on South Africa to release Nelson Mandela from prison.

The Last Detail

2009-02-03T18:10:00.006-07:00

How would you interpret this stunning photograph?

It was taken by Reuters photographer Jason Reed right after George W. Bush finished his farewell address to the nation, walked out of the room, and closed the door behind him.

Then, after the television cameras went off, he came back into the room to say farewell to staff and friends, and this was the expression on his face. [Click on the photo to see it in greater and more disturbing detail.]

The official Reuters caption reads:

U.S. President George W. Bush re-enters the White House East room to say goodbye to staff and friends after his primetime address in Washington, January 15, 2009. Bush on Thursday defended his actions to avert a collapse of the financial system and protect America from another terrorist attack as he mounted a farewell bid to polish his troubled legacy. REUTERS/Jason Reed (UNITED STATES)

Buddy, Can You Spare a Death Star?

2009-01-30T01:52:00.009-07:00

Here is one of the most sobering and shocking websites I've visited in months... Layoff Daily. It's a horribly thorough compendium of all the layoffs announced in the media day-by-day. And it's very... extensive. Dammit.

Now, if you're feeling a bit blue after checking out that website, why don't you check out this wonderful video of Chris Calloway, Cab's daughter, singing Kicking the Gong Around in Santa Fe a couple years ago... before she discovered and subsequently died of breast cancer. Yeah, a real bummer, but since we already seem to be in that mood, what the fuck...

The Greenhouse and Bathtub Effects

2009-01-29T11:40:00.004-07:00

The latest understanding of global warming, which is a part of a greater problem facing the world, global climate change, says that our planet is like a very large bathtub that we've been gradually filling with CO2. The bathtub has a small drain, but we've been filling it much faster than it's been draining.

The problem, as we are beginning to understand, is that even if we slow the flow of CO2 into the bathtub, the drain is so slow, that we're looking at centuries before things might reach an equilibrium again.

Plus, there's a point that by the time the disastrous effects become apparent to all, it will be too late. By that time, we can never put things back the way they once were. We are rapidly approaching that point.

I could provide all kinds of links explaining this in much greater detail, but I will provide ONE LINK HERE, as well as a video of a lecture on this very subject given recently by Dr. John Sterman, the Jay W. Forrester Professor of Management and Engineering Systems, and Director of System Dynamics Group at M.I.T.
(Please skip ahead to minute 18 of the video for his 30-minute presentation)

Toasters in Jacuzzis Have Their Place

2009-01-29T00:50:00.001-07:00

Interactive YouTube? You bet!

Destined to Be Classic Colbert

2009-01-28T11:57:00.003-07:00

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Bill O'Reilly Doesn't Report Rumors

PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad

2009-01-28T00:26:00.000-07:00

'Veggie Love': PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad

Worst Commercial Placement EVER

2009-01-26T18:57:00.001-07:00

From the new Battlestar Galactica...

This is Why I Love Joe Biden

2009-01-21T18:17:00.003-07:00

He says this stuff, everybody laughs and/or gasps, the wingnutters go crazy, and then life goes on...

And in case you're worried about Justice Roberts' poor performance yesterday, he and President Obama did a do-over of the Oath of Office today in the White House... you know, just to be sure.

Boy, Did We Get the Green Weenie!

2009-01-17T10:42:00.006-07:00

Eight years ago, when the country had just finished the political upheavals of the 2nd most contentious and potentially explosive presidential election ever, an historian wrote how America had always been fortunate to elect their best presidents ever during the most trying times the country faced -- Lincoln in the White House as the debates of slavery were reaching a crest, and F.D.R. during the Great Depression and then WWII.

I remember being reassured by this essay, telling friends that perhaps the sheer incompetency of G.W. Bush -- yes, we Democrats saw it so clearly then, though we TENS OF MILLIONS were dismissed as extremists and moonbats -- indicated that America would not be sorely and severely tested as it had been by the Civil War in the 19th century and the collapse of free markets and civility in the first half of the 20th century.

Because 'W' had won the election, surely the Gods wouldn't test America's resiliency while one of the least qualified men ever occupied the White House!

Boy, were I and that historian wrong...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

So now that Obama is headed to the White House, one of the most promising men ever to be elected President, I have to ask, what are we in for now?

Please, No Sword Swallowers

2009-01-15T09:49:00.003-07:00

A friend who lives near and works in Washington D.C. commented that D.C. was going to be a circus the next 5+ days.

I responded, "Yeah, but it's going to be one of those fun, youthful circuses with talented and graceful trapeze artists and jugglers, not a disturbing, bizarro-world circus with creepy clowns, bearded women, and psychotic elephants."

Just thought I'd share.

How Long Will the Teamsters Continue to Suck?

2009-01-13T19:37:00.004-07:00

It's been 2 1/2 weeks since Teamsters Local #17 stole $50 from my paycheck. That money was to pay for my family's Christmas -- yes, Unions stole my Christmas* -- and I haven't received a refund, nor have they even called me back.

I called and left a message two weeks ago. Nothing.

Then I called again today, and the woman I needed to speak to? Out on Tuesdays. So I left another message.

So I post this instead: The Teamsters suck and will continue to suck until they refund my family's Christmas.

The photo to the right is me wearing the only part of the UPS uniform that I got to keep. Because it's a Santa's Helper hat with UPS spelled on it using Christmas trees and stars and snowmen. No, I didn't get it from UPS. I received it from a deranged friend who thought it would be great if I wore it while I worked for UPS. Which I didn't.

Did I remember to say she is deranged? When she posts here commenting on my ungratefulness, you'll know it. Her blog can be found at this link.

*That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Refuse to Believe

2009-01-12T01:15:00.001-07:00

This is a stunning commercial and I had to watch it twice to admire its craftsmanship...

I Would Want to be Ann Coulter

2009-01-09T00:46:00.000-07:00

Ann Coulter and SENATOR Al Franken discuss which historical figure they would want to be...

Stupid Passwords

2009-01-07T20:56:00.003-07:00

Damn, I got nervous for a minute while perusing this list. What is it? A list of the 500 Worst Passwords of All Time. Why are they so bad? See for yourself.

Why did I get nervous? Because I thought I might discover that I have no imagination. Fortunately, my low-security password is NOT on this list.

Low security? Yeah, I use a somewhat common word as my low-security password -- used for online subscriptions and silly things. Fortunately, it's not THAT common.

I also have a high-security password that I use for IMPORTANT stuff like PayPal, online bank accounts, and things that matter. That password is [almost] hackproof. Okay, it's not THAT great, but still it's pretty good.

So, do you do that too? Use a couple of passwords on just about everything in your online life so you can always remember them?

Isn't the Petty Little Man Gone Yet?

2009-01-07T11:37:00.002-07:00

Blair House Mystery Revealed

The Most Intuitive Product EVER Designed!

2009-01-06T23:33:00.000-07:00

MacBook's One Big Wheel:

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

Niobee Does Whatever She Wants

2009-01-05T16:04:00.001-07:00

Here's Niobee, our 15-week-old Siamese kitten, climbing on BalticTiger, climbing on the kitchen counters, and sauntering off without a care...

Joke Works for Architects too

2009-01-05T15:22:00.001-07:00

Bicycle Lane Advocates in Maryland Labeled as Terrorists

2009-01-04T14:53:00.004-07:00

As was reported in the Washington Post last July, Maryland State Police have been monitoring war protesters and death penalty opponents in recent years. However, it's now being reported that the surveillance included many more progressive advocacy groups... including supporters of bike lanes. They even considered and labeled these folks as terrorists!

The Maryland State Police surveillance of advocacy groups was far more extensive than previously acknowledged, with records showing that troopers monitored -- and labeled as terrorists -- activists devoted to such wide-ranging causes as promoting human rights and establishing bike lanes.

Bike lane advocates, terrorists? Seriously?!

Lesson Re-Learned: Never be surprised how right-wing fear and distrust can feed into institutionalized stupidity and despotism.

Good Will vs. Profit? Not a Tough Choice For Some

2008-12-31T13:58:00.011-07:00

Author John Grisham wrote a book that I enjoyed the hell out of, but I can't for the life of me remember the name of it. Perhaps someone can help me out here.

Anyway, it was about insurance companies not paying claims that they damned well should have paid. This required that the customer raise a holy stink to get the money owed. The insurance companies had all the angles calculated and knew what percentage of customers would give up as obstacle after obstacle was put before the customer. The insurance companies knew the amount of bad will generated by such obstructionism was well worth the extra profits to be gleaned... so they went for it at the expense of their own customers.

Brilliant AND sleazy AND totally believable... because we all think the worst about the insurance ~~scam~~ industry.

I told you that to tell you this...

I worked for the UPS a couple weeks before Christmas as a Driver's Helper to earn a couple extra bucks and to keep myself busy. You see, the architect ~~scam~~ business is not doing so well lately. My friends called me the Brown Santa because I delivered packages to the good girls and boys of Northern Colorado. And maybe a few bad ones too.

UPS employees belong to the Teamsters Union, and Unions charge fees for their "services", including a one-time $250 initiation fee to join. So how does it make sense [and cents] to be a temporary, seasonal employee if you have to cough up that much coin up front just to work a couple of weeks? The answer: The Teamsters Union delays withdrawing their $250 initiation fee until one has worked for UPS for a month.

Ahhh, a loophole!

However, we were warned the Union has "accidentally" withdrawn the initiation fee from seasonal employees. There's a story that the drivers I worked with loved to tell me about a Driver's Helper last year who looked at his first paycheck delivered by the driver with whom he was supposed to spend the day with, saw that the Union took out the fees, said a few choice words, and then removed his UPS jacket AND pants right there, and ditched the driver.

Like I said, the drivers all told me this story with glee in their voices because even though they, themselves, are members of the Union, they didn't think too highly of its motives and integrity. They all believed their own Union was trying to rip off temporary employees, of whom the Union doesn't approve.

Yeah, I believe the stories... because at the training session, 20 of us were looking at a sheet of paper describing Teamster Union Fees & Dues -- $250? Holy crap! -- and in unison we all decided that working a couple weeks as a Driver's Helper was a Mug's Game [a futile endeavor]. However, the person "training" us said that the Union won't be deducting it from our paychecks this year... but.... just in case they do, here's the phone number to call for a refund: 303-433-and on and on.

Thankfully, this Howard wrote down and kept that number!

Because they withdrew the initiation fee from my second paycheck. After taxes. Which didn't leave much of anything for ME!

So I called and after many frustrating attempts, was finally instructed by the automated operator to push extension 15 to talk to someone about Union fees and dues. BUT when I did, there was no extension 15! The auto-operator told me so. So I punched in *0*, got voice mail, and left a message with my name and number and my level of dissatisfaction with Teamsters Local #17. Oh yeah, and my request for a refund.

I wonder how many temporary employees fail to call and request a refund because they didn't notice the "small" deduction? Or because they didn't keep the phone number? Or because they couldn't wind their way through the automated phone maze? Or because they did and left a message and were then ignored? Or? Or? Or!!!!

I also wonder if someone at Teamsters Local Union #17 knows the answers to these questions. If they do, then it's brilliant AND sleazy AND totally believable because we all think the worst about Union ~~scams~~ organizations, right?

If it's not true, they still earned my ill will and this blog post. Way to go guys! Unions! Yes!

2008 Year in Review

2008-12-24T23:40:00.001-07:00

Thin Walls Make Good Neighbors

2008-12-17T14:15:00.011-07:00

I'm still hot on the trail of the Structured Chaos Apartment Building -- the stack of glass apartment blocks that wasn't very well stacked. Or maybe you thought they were stacked spectacularly well. Whatever.

In my research, I came across this photo of Hong Kong apartments and such that I had to share with you. Click on the photo to see it much larger.

I have to wonder what life would be like to live in one of these towers, in such a dense urban jungle, but also right on the edge of civilization/nature. Most Americans seem to have an aversion to density -- or at least their "idea" of density -- noise, pollution, traffic congestion, lack of privacy, claustrophobia...

But there are a lot of positives to such density too -- number one has to be that public transportation becomes economically viable, and thus getting around is more energy-efficient and less car-dependent. Which means substantially less carbon released into the air.

Also, people become more connected to their neighbors and surroundings by necessity... whether they like it or not! Which may help explain why all cities in America over a certain size -- I think it's 75,000 population -- have voted Democratic for the past many decades... even Salt Lake City! The ideas that we're all in this together, that we all have a stake in the success of this country, and that we all have to look out for each other are central premises to certain voters.

Why do YOU think America's population centers are also its hotbeds of liberalism? [be nice...]

Finally, just so we can all keep current, here's a drawing of the tallest towers in the world that are at least under construction as of April 2008. Again, click on it to see it VERY LARGE. The winner so far? The Burj Dubai.

Everybody's Gotta Die Someday

2008-12-17T11:07:00.004-07:00

Which natural hazard in the United States are you most likely to die from? Earthquakes? Hurricanes? Blizzards? Wildfires? Tornadoes? Thunderstorms and lightning?

Well, if you guessed heat and drought then you were right.

What? Heat & drought? Yes, a team of researchers at U of South Carolina announced their findings yesterday. 19.6 percent of all deaths caused by natural hazards are due to heat and drought.

"I think what most people would think, if you say what is the major cause of death and destruction, they would say hurricanes and earthquakes and flooding," [Susan] Cutter said in a telephone interview. "They wouldn't say heat."

"What is noteworthy here is that over time, highly destructive, highly publicized, often-catastrophic singular events such as hurricanes and earthquakes are responsible for relatively few deaths when compared to the more frequent, less catastrophic such as heat waves and severe weather," they wrote.

And where are the safest and most dangerous places in the United States? Safe - California. Unsafe - Colorado, Wyoming, Utah, Montana, the Dakotas.

Yikes. Where's my water bottle?

What Would Wile E. Coyote Do?

2008-12-17T10:15:00.001-07:00

If You Find Work, Could You Let Me Know?

2008-12-16T17:22:00.003-07:00

If you read a lot of blogs and news magazines, you come across a lot of stories that are implausible, at best. One such story I came across was hard to believe... until I did some research (I used the Google) and discovered that it was indeed true...

Latin American immigrants, both legal and illegal, are leaving the United States by the droves in search of work!

Here's the link. This was reported (UNDERreported) back in late October.

Hmmm, when Mexicans leave the U.S. in search of jobs, what could that mean?

And Here I Am An Architect!

2008-12-16T16:51:00.004-07:00

In November, new housing construction starts dropped to their lowest rate ever since the government started keeping track in 1959. Film at eleven...

Designing A Special Place for What We Do That's Special

2008-12-15T23:45:00.007-07:00

As you know, if you've been paying attention, my wife is a published writer and is very talented. Some day, I will design a private writing studio for her. Listen to how this architect describes his reactions to his client and the site, and his intentions for dealing with their needs, for choreographing the experience of arrival, and for capturing the passage of light and time. This is EXACTLY how all good architects think and conceptualize...

A Real (Estate) Buying Opportunity!

2008-12-15T22:22:00.009-07:00

The sub-prime mortgage debacle and the resulting foreclosures have done their nastiness upon our mutual funds, our economy, and our capitalist souls, but now it's only a matter of months before the real estate markets right themselves, and things start to get better again. Right?

Not according to 60 Minutes. In their latest report, over the next two years, two more types of mortgages called "Alt-As" and "option ARMs" will be causing a second round of foreclosures equal to or worse than the damage and dislocation caused by the collapse of sub-primes.

Their story focuses on the horror that is the Florida real estate market, but its impacts will be felt nationwide...

Patience Alert: The twelve-and-a-half-minute segment begins with a thirty-second ad --

WTF?

2008-12-13T17:31:00.005-07:00

A seemingly random stack of glass apartment blocks...

Except that one family owns and lives in all of these, and I'm pretty sure the structural and mechanical engineers insisted that the columns, framing system, and HVAC system (not to mention stairs and elevator) have SOME kind of order and sense to them.

And just in case you were wondering -- yes, this is real. Wow, check out all the decks!

Be Concerned, Be Very Concerned

2008-12-12T09:25:00.004-07:00

There's no sight like hindsight.

It took a year to acknowledge, but the Bush Administration finally agreed a few weeks ago that we have been in a Recession since December 2007. And while I say we're already there because of surging unemployment, locked credit markets, and now deflation, the Bush Administration is beginning to talk a Depression if we don't bail out the Big Three automakers. Even VP Cheney says it'll be "Herbert Hoover time" if we don't bail out the Big Three.

So D.C. lawmakers, the White House, and the United Auto Workers worked out a deal for $13 billion in bail-out funds for the Big Three, and Congress passed the bill convincingly. The Senate was about to pass it too, but then Senate Republicans decided to hammer on the UAW a bit, got the concessions they asked for... but then decided to ask for MORE concessions, at which point the UAW balked. And so the bill didn't pass. And thus the Republicans could blame the collapse of the Big Three on the Unions, which is what they wanted all along.

Which brings us to another Great Depression. John Judis of The New Republic has this quick little history lesson for us:

If you look at the history of the Great Depression, what tipped that event from a global recession to depression was precisely a series of dumb, craven -- or in Keynes' word, "feather-brained" -- moves by politicians blinded by ideology or by narrow self-interest. An interest rate hike here, a balanced budget there, a spending reduction or two, and we went from ten to twenty percent unemployment. Don't imagine for a moment that the failure to bailout the auto companies isn't one of those feather-brained moves.

There's more to read at TNR if you dare...

Brighten Up Your Day Night

2008-12-10T18:01:00.008-07:00

For any Persians, Sikhs, or Pastafarians living in the United States and decorating your homes for Christmas in the continued and wholly mistaken hopes that doing so will allow you to live another year in this country unmolested, I offer you this:

The Clark Griswold School of Christmas Season Exterior Illumination...

Howard's Greatest Hits

2008-12-09T16:14:00.003-07:00

I'm surprised nobody commented on this...

My brother, the greatest beer aficionado I know, told me via email that he's tried about half of them (did I not say "greatest beer aficionado"?), and agrees that the last one, Delirium Tremens Ale, is one of the very best. Still, it would be nice to hear from some of you as well. You DO drink beer, don't you?

Magic Water Falls From the Sky this Gizmo

2008-12-08T19:07:00.012-07:00

Here's a nifty gizmo for churning out 13 quarts of pure water a day. It only requires a payment of $1,299 to purchase and 300 watts of electricity ~~per hour~~ to operate (roughly $0.50 a day).

It's called the Watermill, and it sucks the water straight out of the air -- from the humidity in air.

It's estimated that the Earth's atmosphere contains enough moisture to fill the equivalent of Lake Superior, so we don't need to worry about ruining the local ecosystem. And this gizmo works anywhere -- from the rain forest to the desert... though when the relative humidity drops below 35%, it struggles a bit more.

You mount it on an exterior wall of your home or business and it draws its source air from outside which tends to be cleaner and more humid. The humidity is condensed into pure water, collected, and then you drink it. The U.S. Marine Corp is even using it right now.

Okay, so $1,299 is a bit steep. But if you lived up in the mountains or out in the wilderness or far from any source of water, it could be cost-efficient compared to drilling a well or installing a rainwater collection system or walking to and from fresh water with a bucket on your head.

As your architect, I would advise you consider it!

If that cat had nine lives, it sure used em' all!

2008-12-04T12:42:00.004-07:00

Ever seen a kitty in a Christmas tree? If so, you're gonna see it again...

Don't Shoot The Messenger

2008-12-03T19:43:00.015-07:00

When I started this blog three years ago, I announced on the masthead, and in many of my posts, that one of my topics of discussion would be the Housing Bubble.

Well, despite the continual denial by my real estate agent -- oh, the debates we had! -- that bubble burst during these past two years.

And if you're like me and you believe that the root causes of The Entire Freakin' World's economic woes derive from the bursting U.S. housing bubble, then you're not gonna like this next bit of news one bit.

We still have AT LEAST another year of increasingly difficult recession/depression ahead of us before anything starts to get better, despite President-Elect Obama's efforts.

Why do I believe this? Because of the chart at the top of this entry and because of analysis from this blog, Calculated Risk. If you believe that real estate will only settle down once the House Price-to-Income Ratio resets to its traditional value of 1.0 -- and I do -- then we have at least another year of travail ahead.

Hey, I called the burst of the housing bubble three years ago and protected our family's finances by selling our very nice house for top dollar, and then moved us into a nice rental. If your plan is to stay in place for the next few years, riding it out, then you'll be fine too. Bt if you absolutely need to sell, then best of luck.

You can believe this new news or not. Won't change reality one bit. You know what they say about denial...

Update: Less than half an hour after I posted this, the Washington Post put up a story that the Treasury is considering plans to artificially lower mortgage interest rates to home buyers by buying $600 billion worth of Fannie Mae's and Freddie Mac's securities. While this could dramatically improve demand for homes and temporarily squelch drops in home prices, we won't see prices go back up where they once were. People who are upside down on their current mortgages -- owing more than the house is now worth? Screwed. Nor would dramatically lower interest rates stop the worst problem, foreclosures, unless wholesale, affordable refinancing was a possibility. Still, it's a good start.

"P"

2008-12-03T01:36:00.000-07:00

A New Film by Oliver Stone...

Life of Imagination

2008-12-03T01:13:00.004-07:00

I am married to a writer, a very excellent writer. Right now, she's getting paid a lot more to edit other people's stuff, but really she's a writer at heart and that's where her future lies.

But EVEN more than that, she is a reader. She reads a lot. And I mean A LOT!

So when I saw this unique and charming short film, I thought of her.

This is for her...

Translation Please?

2008-12-02T20:44:00.006-07:00

Graffiti found on the sidewalk near the Poudre River in Fort Collins... I can figure out the first word, but what is the second word? Scene? What could this mean? [click on the photo to examine it VERY closely, if needed.]

Only One Thing to Say About Sec. of State Hillary Clinton

2008-12-02T00:35:00.004-07:00

This from a Democratic debate in Iowa on Dec. 13, 2007...

Prescience? Could he really be THAT smart? I have to wonder.

Jeebus! How Pvt. Monica Brown Won A Silver Star

2008-12-01T22:12:00.004-07:00

Private Monica Brown is only the second woman to be awarded the Silver Star since World War II. She's an Army medic temporarily attached to a paratrooper unit in Paktika Province in Afghanistan who risked her own life to save two critically wounded paratroopers...

And she's only 18 years old. "Yeah. I am just a child," she acknowledges.

The key paragraphs:

Brown's instincts kicked in with bullets whizzing by and mortars exploding around her. This young woman, who was not even supposed to be in front line combat, threw her body over the wounded paratroopers to protect them. "It was an uncontrollable situation," she remembers. "And I just dove over Spray, 'cause Spray can't defend himself. It's not like he can go anywhere to take cover. So, I dove over him. Make sure he didn't get any shrapnel or anything from it."

Afterwards...

"The MedEvac bird came in. And then it all hit me. You know, what had just happened. And, you know, I could've died. And those guys could've died. And I can't believe this just happened. All this stuff was just, like, rushing to me."

"And what did you do?" Logan asks.

"I threw up," Brown admits, laughing.

Go here and read the story, and watch the 60 Minutes video on this amazing woman.

The Bottom Line: The Internet's Days are Numbered

2008-12-01T18:40:00.006-07:00

Read this fascinating story of a man, Dan Kaminsky, who discovered a fatal flaw in the Internet's Domain Name System (DNS) and, rather than take it down or steal billions, he saved the Internet. For the time being. "There is no saving the Internet," Kaminsky said. "There is postponing the inevitable for a little longer."

366 Days on the Wall, 366 Days...

2008-11-30T13:35:00.011-07:00

A Year of Beer! Bring it on.

Seriously, I think this is the most perfect use of the Internet -- the killer app*, if you will -- a blog that includes a beer review for each and every day of the year.

Thank goodness this was a leap year, or else we would have missed out on the beer to the right -- beer #366!

As with my post about the 75 Books Every Man Should Read, I'll ask how many of these beers have you tried? My count is 39, which surprises me. It's higher than expected only because the list seems to be heavy with Colorado brews.

This list will certainly keep you busy! Our future lays before us, fellow suds heads!

*Back in the '80s, everyone was pondering what might be the "Killer App" for the computer. Some thought it was the spreadsheet, some said word processing. In my opinion, the Killer Application for the computer is the Internet. And the Killer Application for the Internet is either Google or this beer blog (no, the killer app is NOT porn, because we old folks had plenty of that before the computer. I know too because I did the research.)

The New Hardline Howard

2008-11-30T10:30:00.009-07:00

I've changed my tune and gone populist -- no bail out for the Big Three automakers.

From an interview with Newsweek's Fareed Sakaria, Al Gore says this: "When I was vice president, I initiated a program called the Partnership for a New Generation of Vehicles. The federal government invested over a billion dollars in partnership with the Big Three to focus on the accelerated development of advanced high-efficiency vehicles. But as soon as they felt they were off the hook at the end of 2000, they pulled the plug and walked away."

My view? They had their chance and blew it, focusing on building Yukons and Hummers instead.

Read the whole interview. It's not too long, unfortunately. Al Gore says it like it is. Will we listen?

And if you want the full scientific scoop on just how screwed we are in regards to global climate change, read this. It'll give you an idea of how difficult the challenges are ahead of us and how huge the changes and devastation will be when we don't meet the challenges.

I Got the Turkey Trots

2008-11-27T11:15:00.008-07:00

I can't explain it. After participating in all kinds of amazing and impressive bike rides and races, I rarely post anything about them here. And yet I do a little 5K run on Thanksgiving morning, the Loveland Turkey Trot, and am compelled to post about it here...

Howard at the finish line. The guy just behind me and to my right bugged me. I passed him with half a mile to go, but he wouldn't stay passed. So I sprinted at the finish to put him away. Only afterward, looking at this photo, did I realize that he had number 512 while I had number 511. What are the odds?

Howard, SuperNana, Crickett (10), and Peanut (7) at the start of the race. All of us ran today. Crickett and Peanut are amazing girls. They have both become avid cyclists in the past year because of their grandmother, SuperNana. By the way, SuperNana is my [virtual] twin sister as she was born five hours after me in the Pacific timezone. What are the odds?

Real Estate Bubble Is Hitting Everyone Hard, and I Mean EVERYONE

2008-11-26T20:30:00.000-07:00